How elated I was to attend my “big” reunion at St. Catherine’s School, an Episcopal girls’ prep school in Richmond, Virginia, which started in 1890… and no, I’m not THAT old!
My dear parents gave me the opportunity to attend a school that embraces gracious traditions. Because of that, I also made lifelong friends and camaraderie. At my reunion, many commented about my newsletter and how they share it with their children and grandchildren… the ultimate compliment! My darling classmate, Caroline, suggested the topic of “common courtesies” as a refresher and reminder for us to share with our children. The topic? Doors: how to politely go in and out of a public door!
“All doors open to courtesy.” – Thomas Fuller
RULE #1: Whenever you push or pull a door open, look behind you to see if someone else is coming, and hold it open for them.
Proper protocol suggests that the person coming out of the door has the right of way, and the person outside of the door politely waits to the side. If the occasion allows, the person outside the door offers to hold the door open while the other person departs the building.
The front door at Fox Hall continues to be a happy “revolving door” to friends, family, parties, and receptions!
While in Williamsburg, Virginia, I walked to The Cheese Shop. (Have you ever tried their Virginia peanuts? I bet you can’t eat just one!) As I was about to enter the store, a 10-year-old boy came out of the door, saw me waiting outside, and slammed the door shut in front of me. I surmise that he didn't know better. It's not a big deal, but then again, IT IS! Unless you teach your children these common courtesies, they will never know, because thoughtful manners are taught. They are not innate behaviors. (Even though we, as parents, wish they were!)
“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” - C. Thomas
How about elevator doors? How many times have you had to say, “Excuse me,” to people eager to board the elevator, blocking the door outside as you attempt to exit the elevator? Those waiting for the elevator should kindly stand to the side, not in front of it. This is a crucial courtesy to teach children. And subway doors? Well, good luck with that… a whole other dilemma!
At the Farmington Polo Club, the person leading a horse out of the barn has the right of way. If a horse and rider are waiting outside, they move aside until the other horse and rider walk out of the barn.
“Be an opener of doors.” - Ralph Waldo Emmerson
Grand Millennial Tips:
Many gentlemen hesitate to open a door for a lady these days, for fear they will hear unpleasantness from the lady, like how she is capable of doing it herself! I find opening a door for a lady to be exceptionally thoughtful, and I am flattered by this courteous and polite gesture.
This is what I do: when a gentleman who is ahead of me politely stops to hold a door open for me as I enter a public building, I make a point of thanking him AND encouraging him to go in front of me if there is a queue ahead, e.g., the post office, bank, ice cream counter. Why should he have to wait behind me to be served when he was there first? This is a new “common courtesy” for ladies to extend to gentlemen, especially in this age of equality.
When you see a Mum with a baby stroller, dash to open the door for her. As a mother and grandmother, I vividly remember the struggle of trying to open a door whilst pushing a stroller!
Happy Memorial Day! It is our honor to celebrate the men and women who have served our country. We enjoy our American freedom because of their commitment and service. God Bless America!
XX
Holly
PS: I hope you will peek at my new “Holly Holden Collection x Jude Connally,” classically designed dresses that are to be loved and lived in! See the link below.
Pictured above: Tierney Dress Jude Cloth & Kristen Maxi Dress Jude Cloth.