Avert Dinner Party Dilemmas: Ask your guests this question!

My carrot soup with fresh ginger makes an easy first course to serve and is a perfect option for any vegetarian guest. 

Many years ago, in my entertaining roster of memories, I learned a valuable lesson, one I wish to pass along to you!  When you invite guests to your house for dinner (or any meal for that matter), once they accept, I urge you to then ask them “THE question”: 

“Do you have any food allergies or dislikes?!”

Oh boy, I learned this the hard way. At one of our first big dinner parties Stuart and I hosted years ago, I made my foolproof beef tenderloin with a bearnaise sauce… divine, right? Well, JUST as our ten guests were seated at the table and dinner was being served, one couple announced that they were vegetarians! Really? Why did they not advise me of this when they accepted my invitation? It is the guest’s responsibility to tell the host.

What did I do? It just so happened that I had a box of organic butternut squash soup. (Adding a few red pepper flakes and a dash of Madeira wine, it tastes delicious… in a pinch!) I asked our server to warm up the soup and serve it to them. Phew, my “hostess dilemma” was diverted. From that day on, I always ask the guests “THE question” once they accept my invitation. 

Once, I was planning to serve my chicken cordon bleu recipe, which is rolled in a mustard and sour cream sauce and then breaded. I found out that one of my guests was allergic to mustard… go figure, mustard?! (No cordon bleu for you- change of menu!)  One only knows what allergies someone has if they ask, or if the guest offers to share with the host in advance. 

I would rather know if someone doesn't like something, too. If you don’t like lamb or lima beans, you are probably not going to tell me that in advance unless I ask you. Once I know your dislikes, I can try to accommodate and change the menu. 

GrandMillenial Tips:

~It is your responsibility as a guest to tell your host if you have allergies or are vegetarian, etc.  The purpose of their invitation is for you to have a most enjoyable experience.

~It is a good idea to have a vegetarian, quick and easy backup to serve.For example, a baked squash or additional vegetables….or, you can always just give a double portion of your mashed potatoes!

Here is one of my secret go-to recipes for an hors d’oeuvres:

~Many people now have wheat or gluten allergies, so I substitute bread rounds with cucumber rounds for one of my favorite, one-bite, passed hors d’oeuvres.  I thinly slice the cucumber rounds, spread them with chive Boursin cheese, place a piece of smoked salmon on top, along with a few capers on top of the salmon (and a tiny sprig of fresh dill if I have it).  Ladies love it because cucumbers have fewer calories than bread. It is always a winner!

I hope you will forward this to your darling friends and family.  By asking guests about allergies or food dislikes in advance, it may save you, and your guests too, from an uncomfortable and unnecessary “sticky situation.” 

Allergies or not, what host doesn’t love a party that is joyful, seamless, and filled with merriment for their guests? Cheers to that!

Xx 

Holly

The Art of Reciprocation: Inspiring Responses!

Serving pink champagne is a festive way to commence a ladies' luncheon, but an elegant and easy alternative, which is not expensive, is cranberry juice and soda water.

Last week I touched on reciprocation, “the forgotten art of hospitality,” and you, my dear subscribers, are passionate about it! 

I received more letters than ever in favor of this simple principle of giving and receiving… and the lack of it in today’s society. Today, I am featuring just a few heartfelt notes I received to confirm that you are not alone; reciprocity reflects the basic human desire to create a sense of balance and fairness in our social interactions!  And it does not have to cost a fortune to reciprocate hospitality. Take a peek…

Dear Holly,

This topic never seems to be discussed—thank you for sharing your commentary.  I, at one time, thought I had too many expectations for reciprocation. However, as my mother would say, it is simply “good form” to return a lovely time with a lovely time.  It is the ultimate thank-you note and an acknowledgment of generosity.  

I appreciate all of your posts! Thank you again. 

R.K.

Dear Holly, 

I enjoyed the topic in your column today. I have experienced the same lack of courtesy so many times. Even in the 80s, my parents would wonder why so many people attended their parties and never contacted them again.

These days, there seems to be an even more significant lack of empathy towards others. Many times, I throw parties with an RSVP request, and people can't even respond with a yes or no. When you're inviting 30-40 people over, this poses a problem. I've had people show up for a party wearing clothes so casual that I wouldn't even wear them to bed, much less a party. (In that instance, these guests left early, a little embarrassed.)  

Most people do not even think to ask, "Is there anything I can bring?"  It is even rare to get an email thank you after the event.  

I put this thoughtless behavior down to the following:

1. Lack of civility in our country in general

2. A multitude of distractions, giving people the idea that a party or dinner is on par with watching a show on NetFlix, always available at the touch of the remote!

3. Emphasis on 24/7 work demands in some people's lives.

My best,

L.H.

Dear Holly,

Ahh, another HH Monday morning home run !!! Thank you for addressing this topic. Reciprocation and handwritten thank-you notes are becoming a lost art. When I first came to PB I was perplexed I would invite people for drinks or a meal in my home. Rarely did I get invited into theirs. I assumed nobody in PB entertained at home, just at a club or restaurant. I concluded reciprocation at home was a northern custom. I have maintained for decades; please invite me to your home. It's about sharing your space. It's fine to open a jar of pasta sauce; the point is reciprocation!! You don't need fancy stemware or a grand entertainment space. It's about inviting me into your home. This is similar to the lost art of a thank you note, which has been replaced by a text. So sad. Thank you again.

D.Q.

I truly enjoy arranging flowers for centerpieces, but a flowering plant, a sculpture, or a porcelain soup tureen is less expensive and an elegant and easy alternative. 

Dearest Holly,

I am just tickled that you wrote about this.  I had limited money early in my fledgling career as an Industrial Designer.  Fortunately, I was taken under the wing of two older couples of great wealth and experience.  Both lived in several international metropolitan areas, however, in apartment buildings with little access to land.  As these two couples loved to garden, they spent many happy times in my garden and, afterward, cooking together.  This was several decades ago, and we are still close friends to this day.  Happily, they taught me the art of more sophisticated entertaining throughout the years, on my Queen Victoria wedding china!

There are many things you can do to reciprocate, even when you are young and on limited budgets. The key is not to be intimidated by a temporary lack of means.

Your information is incredibly helpful to others.   Never stop!  

Warm wishes,

LGS.

Dear Holly,  

I believe many people think they have to "spend” to make an impression.  It is not about money,  but a bit of freshness, kind thought, creativity, and confidence to show others you care about them. You are a super mentor to many of us, especially the Grand Millenials.  So grateful you purport all things both proper and pragmatic.

Best wishes, 

L.

Hi Holly,

Your column today was excellent. I thought it was just me hosting with friends who were not reciprocating. Thank you for clarifying and helping me understand that I am not alone.

Happiness, B.G.

Dear Holly,

Yes, yes!!!

We have lively nieces, nephews, and friends of our children who reciprocate in many charming, simple ways—for example, a walk and tea on an afternoon!

You are right on, as usual!

Bises,

S.

Pink silk “faux thistles” are interspersed with real flowers in this arrangement to symbolize Scotland for a luncheon in honor of HM King Charles III’s charity, The King’s Foundation, when the CEO and staff visited Palm Beach. Secret: In a pinch, mixing faux flowers with real flowers can be an elegant and easy, less expensive filler for an arrangement. 

Dear Holly,

This month’s edition struck home. My husband and I host several large gatherings a year, Halloween, Christmas, Mid-summer, and more intimate dinner parties. We are increasingly struck by the number of couples who do not reciprocate. It does seem to be an emerging cultural trend, which is unfortunate.

As you mentioned, we have friends who have issues with renovations, dogs, etc. and choose not to entertain in their homes. Many of these friends will meet out for dinner or at a club, an acceptable alternative to entering their homes. However, there is a second category of people who we enjoy spending time with and who obviously enjoy themselves when they are entertained in our home. Yet, no effort is ever made to reciprocate.

I am always bowled over when someone, often a female contemporary, shares feelings of inadequacy or intimidation when faced with the thought of reciprocation. I always reply that simplicity is best, and any invitation is appreciated. Life is too short to feel like you must meet some unrealistic ideal. A burger in the backyard is a welcome invite, as it shows effort.

I have always acknowledged that friendship is hard work. People ebb and flow in and out of our lives over time. If they are unable, or worse unwilling, to put in the effort required to maintain a connection, it can become necessary to edit some connections.

Thank you for your inspired missives, I do enjoy reading them.

K.H.

Dear Ms. Holden,

Thank you very much for writing about reciprocity. I thought it was just me who thought about this with friends, so it is nice to read about the "Art of Hospitality." 

Have a wonderful week! 

Sincerely, 

L.K.

Dear Holly,

Well said! Wonderful to have reminders about mutual respect in society. These ideas deserve attention, and the art of gracious living must be preserved!

Thank you for passing these ideas on to future generations!

S.S.

Dear Holly,

I’m passing your timely article to a few friends. Thank you for reminding us politeness begins at home!

A fan, V.

These are just a few of the letters I received.  It is obvious that many of us still want to keep gracious entertaining and reciprocity alive and well… thank heavens!

Xx

Holly

Reciprocation: A Forgotten Art of Hospitality?

Serving guests in the summer on our veranda at Fox Hall, for dinner parties of six to ten, is an enchanting experience as a hostess… everything tastes better somehow, no matter what I serve! 

(Dress is Ala von Auersperg) 

A darling subscriber brought up an interesting topic: the “unwritten rule” of reciprocating hospitality. Is it a lost art?

Reciprocation, a gracious social norm, involves returning a favor or invitation.  It is an essential aspect of friendship. However, it is often overlooked in today’s society. I am speaking about social events, not business, and in particular, an intimate dinner party, not necessarily a large cocktail party or reception. 

My subscriber shared her personal experience: she and her husband have invited and hosted several couples to their dinner parties, who seemed to enjoy themselves thoroughly. However, over time, to their surprise, these guests have yet to extend an invitation in return. It is not because they didn’t have a delightful time; they gleefully accepted their invitations on more than one occasion! Why?

I remember when a dear friend of mine, who has a very grand house and entertains on a monumentally majestic scale, confessed that “no one ever seems to invite me back.”  Why? 

Are people intimidated, or can they not afford to reciprocate? Reciprocation does not have to be extravagant. Whether it is a simple lunch, tea, or drinks & nibbles, there are various ways to reciprocate based on one’s budget and lifestyle.  

Is it because people do not have time or cannot entertain in their home? I know a young couple with four children under four (two sets of twins!) who admitted their house is not a venue for entertaining (at this point in their lives). Instead, they invite guests to a restaurant or their Club. There are endless accessible alternatives.

So, why do people not reciprocate?  It is a taught behavior, like good manners. The genteel behavior of “paying back” is a learned concept. So, perhaps some “just never learned and don’t know,” OR some “just don’t care!”… oh dear! 

Grandmillennial tip:

If you meet someone for the first time at someone else’s place, and want to invite them over, invite the host of the party  where you met them as well; it is a thoughtful gesture. 

 Not reciprocating can be perceived as impolite and ungenerous. Teach your children that when you accept an invitation, it is your duty to reciprocate in some way or form, in the spirit of generosity and mutual respect for others. We are so grateful to have charming friends who kindly reciprocate! 

Let’s keep gentility alive and well… and not a lost art! 

Xx

Holly

PS Please pass this along to your grown children too, as a reminder to reciprocate!

Lovely Lobster Bisque: Elegant and Easy!

Cooking seafood in our apartment is a bit of a challenge compared to cooking seafood in our house, as the fishy aroma can linger for days. Even though the sliding doors are opened, and scented candles are lit, it does not seem to dissipate! So, when making a lobster bisque, I take an easy, “scent-free” shortcut! I buy it ready-made and add my special touches to make it “semi-homemade.”  

There are several places to buy yummy, premade lobster bisque that is refrigerated (and not in a can), such as Publix, Panera, and Costco. I simply add some Madeira wine to taste, along with a shake or two of red pepper flakes, to the store-bought bisque, slowly bring it to a simmer, and add "the secret" dollop of crab or lobster.   

Here are all of the ingredients! The pretty flowers were given to me by Joan Parker who arranged them at a Salvation Army fundraising event she hosted. 

My “Secret” Ingredients

Mix and simmer until warm:

• Premade and refrigerated Lobster Bisque

• Madeira Wine (to taste)

• Pepper flakes (to taste)

• Add in: Lump crabmeat OR picked-out lobster meat (approx ¼ cup per bowl)

• Garnish with chopped fresh dill, scallions, or chives

After the bisque has slowly come to a simmer on the cooktop (be careful not to let it boil),  spoon it into each soup bowl, and add a very generous spoonful of lump crab meat or picked-out lobster meat, which is at room temperature or gently warmed before adding it. 

Then, garnish with a sprinkling of chopped fresh dill, scallions, or chives on top.

The final touch?  I pass a petite silver pitcher (above) of additional Madeira wine. Each guest then has the option to pour a little on top of their bisque if they wish. (No one ever seems to refuse this embellishment!) 

Once the bisque is placed in front of each guest, a basket of warm biscuits is served to accompany it.  This easy, elegant, and deliciously decadent first-course combination of Lobster Bisque and biscuits is always a winner! 

Xx 

Holly

PS: Please share this recipe and inspire others to subscribe!  Also, take a peek at the addendum below. 

The Secret to Perfect Invitations: Where to place the R.s.v.p.

Two appropriate forms of requesting an acknowledgment are displayed on these invitations, both of which bring fond memories of joyous celebrations to mind! 

When composing an invitation, which side do you place the acknowledgment request, aka the R.s.v.p. (R.s.v.p. is French for “Respondez s’il vous plait”)? On the lower-right corner or the lower-left corner?

It should be on the lower-left corner of the invitation!

Respondez s’il vous plait may be written as R.s.v.p., with a capital “R” and lowercase “s.v.p.” The other form of R.S.V.P. is in all capital letters. The preferred form is R.s.v.p. 

“The favour of replay is requested” is another form of an acknowledgment request. It relays a touch of old-world charm and formality to the occasion. I chose this for my wedding reception invitation because the British spelling of “favour” reminded me of my dear father, who was British.

I sent this invitation to dear friends, “The Rambunctious Rams,” who celebrate Aries’ birthdays with my husband. It is always an amusing evening of celebration!

It is appropriate to use the simple phrase “Regrets only” along with a phone number, email address, or both. This form is considered less formal than using R.s.v.p.

When including a phone number, email address, or both, it is preferable to indicate them underneath the R.s.v.p.  

GrandMilennial Tip:

The “dress attire” is placed in the lower-right corner of an invitation and is always included on a formal invitation. (An easy way to remember this is: “How to dress RIGHT!”)

For informal invitations, you may add a response date under the R.s.v.p.   The number of the date may be spelled out or in numeral form: April 10th or April tenth. (If spelled out, the number is not capitalized,  but the month is capitalized) 

Example:
R.s.v.p.           
By April second 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To not respond soon after receiving an invitation: Do your best to respond to an invitation within 2 to 3 days of receiving it. 

No-no: When a formal invitation, such as a wedding invitation, is sent and does not have a response card enclosed, you are expected to respond on your writing paper in the third person (Mrs. R. Stuart Holden, Jr. accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of…).  

No-no: If a response card is not included with the formal invitation, you should not phone or email your response, even if you know them well. Your response should always be handwritten and mailed to the host. 

Note the selective wording in the lower-left corner, which suggests a stately fundraising luncheon, with limited acceptances. This invitation included an acknowledgment request card. 

Please be a dear and invite one or two friends today to subscribe to “Secrets to Lovely Living!”  Your kind gesture would help me grow my subscriber list internationally and mean the world.  A big kiss to all for your support!  

Xx

Holly

Enhancing art with porcelain!

The blue tonality of the pair of Chinese ginger jars corresponds to a similar color in the painting by American artist Margot Stewart, while the two tall pairs of vases harmonize with the colors in the room.  

If paired well, porcelain and art can create a symphony of perceptible bliss for any room. Porcelain plates, vases, cachepots, and figurines add a lovely dimension to walls, shelves, and tabletops, enhancing the room's character and artwork. 

When porcelain pieces are chosen to complement a piece of art with specific colors in mind, the porcelain becomes part of the overall composition, and the artwork visually extends rays of intrigue toward a nearby piece of porcelain.  Thus, the entire composition expands and enhances viewers’ pleasure. A win-win!  This is a sound reason to buy what you love while keeping a room's color scheme in mind. 

This composition illustrates ‘art and porcelain’ complementing one another!

My favorite artwork at Hill-Stead Museum in Farmington, Connecticut, is Jockeys (1886) by Edgar Degas, which hangs over the dining room mantel. The mantelpiece is graced with the Pope Family collection of celadon porcelain pieces made during the Song (960-1279) and Ming (1368-1644) Dynasties. The mantelpiece was believed to be designed specifically to feature both the artwork and the celadon pieces… just what I am talking about! The harmony between the various pastel shades of green in the artwork and the soft green celadon porcelain is ‘art complementing art.’  

Porcelain has a most captivating history.  An entire chapter in my book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, is dedicated to this topic. In summary, consider collecting porcelain with both the colors of your artwork and the colors of a room in mind so that the porcelain will meld brilliantly and enhance the overall visual aesthetic of your space.  

Surrounding art with porcelain plates is another way to add interest to the subject matter. The blue and white Meissen, Canton, and Willow Ware plate patterns complement the sweater on our son, Stuart III (with Higgins!), and our kitchen at Fox Hall.

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

What secret elements contribute to an inviting interior? Lessons from the Mulroney's Palm Beach Home.

Upon entering a house for the first time, what elements do you immediately sense that contribute to a positively enchanting atmosphere? You know, a house that feels inviting, and one you don't want to leave?! 

My list of a few “inviting” elements:

-Joyful colors that complement one another from room to room

-Intimate seating arrangements

-Art that speaks to the heart and is collected with passion, and hung appropriately

-Decorative details that tell a story

I am reminded of the time my team and I photographed Brian and Mila Mulroney’s Palm Beach house for my book, Pearls of Palm Beach.

I immediately felt an overwhelming sense of warmth, happiness, and gracious hospitality the moment I walked through the front door. The happy, sunny yellow and Mediterranean blue color scheme delighted my visual senses. The living room seating arrangements were close together, conducive for intimate conversations. The artwork and decorative details reflected the Mulroney family interests, experiences, and travels. These elements contribute to an authentically inviting atmosphere.  

Mila entered soon after the cameras were set up. We met for the first time. She greeted me with her warm personality and beautiful smile; she made me feel like a long-lost friend. We had a quick photograph together before she dashed off with her grandchildren. She graciously invited me to “make myself at home.” No wonder she is so beloved! 

The secret to creating inviting interiors… the ones you never want to leave, is to create intimate rooms that reflect the persona and passions of the owners within them. The Mulroney's accomplished this brilliantly.  It’s a family home, where guests feel like family.  And, it's no wonder the house is appropriately named “La Maison Jolie!”

I was saddened to learn that Brian Mulroney, the former Prime Minister of Canada from 1984 to 1993, recently passed away. I was inspired to share a few photographs of the resort home he shared with Mila. We can all learn from these rooms. 

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to the Mulroney family. Thank you for sharing your charming family home with me. 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

Holly's Secret Easy First Course Asparagus Roll-ups

One of my secret recipes for a first course is my asparagus roll-ups! Not only are they quick and easy to prepare, but they look pretty on any porcelain design, can be made several hours ahead, and may be served at room temperature.

Prepare one bundle per person.

Ingredients:

~Asparagus: steamed until soft but still slightly crunchy.  I allow between three and four stalks per person.

~Boursin Cheese: you can use any variety, including truffle-flavored.  

(Alternative: use cream cheese and simply mix in some fresh garlic and herbs)

~Prosciutto Slices: allow one thin, presliced piece per person/bundle.

Cut ends off: make the top of the stalk to the bottom about 4-5” long.

Steam or simmer the asparagus (or place it in a microwave) until still green, soft, but slightly firm.  

Spread about a teaspoon or more of Boursin cheese in the center of the prosciutto slice.

Place 3-4 stalks of asparagus in the center, lengthwise, on one end of the prosciutto and roll up. Place the seam on the bottom. 

Optional Garnish:

Slice tiny tomatoes lengthwise, toss in olive oil, and add a dash of salt. Sprinkle over the plate and the asparagus for additional color.  Add a touch of chopped parsley, too, if you have some!

This was a ladies' luncheon I hosted for Baroness Marion von Linsingen when she flew over from Germany to Palm Beach.

That’s it! It is so simple and can be served any time of year. I hope you enjoy making them, too!

 Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Holly's Secret Design Idea!

In the living room at Fox Hall, the mid-eighteenth-century English bull’s eye mirror is hung over the mantelpiece.  The “hippocam” that crowns the mirror is a subtle reference to my passion for horses. 

The artwork you choose to present on your walls provides a window into your interests and tastes, and Mummy instilled in me never to buy reproduction art. The cost of a mirror is quite often only a fraction of the cost of a painting.  It’s always better to purchase a lovely mirror than inferior artwork. 

In my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, the chapter, “Magnificent Mirrors and Wall Art,” discussed how mirrors can enhance the design of a room. They are similar to a living painting because they reflect life in a room, and occasionally an outside view too. 

Mirrors (referred to as “looking glasses” in England), have been used historically to increase the daylight or candlelight in a room before there was electricity.  Candlelight placed in front of a mirror doubles the “romantic” lighting.  

When selecting a mirror, ensure that the frame complements the furniture and architecture of the room.  Formal surroundings deserve formal mirrors.  Hepplewhite, Chippendale, and Adam-esque mirrors continue to reign supreme in classically tailored interiors.  

I adore antique Venetian mirrors, especially for a resort house, as I have done in Palm Beach, because they add a touch of glamour and whimsy!  

An antique mirror is preferable to a new mirror because of its well-earned patina on the glass. One can never have too many mirrors!

My Pretty and Proper Living Room book features a page about mirrors. The top mirror shown is in my office. It is the first mirror that Stuart and I ever bought as newlyweds. We thought it was an antique because we purchased it in an “antique” store on Cape Cod. When we went to hang it, we discovered underneath the backside paper that it was a new reproduction- lesson learned, but we still love it! 

Grandmillenial tips:

There can be more than one mirror in a room.  Consider creating a design theme in a room around a collection of mirrors!

When hanging a mirror over a fireplace mantelpiece, decide what you intend to display on the mantel first, and then hang the mirror, so that the decorative pieces on the mantel do not block the details on the bottom of the mirror frame. 

Place a sculpture in front of a mirror, so that one can appreciate the back of the sculpture in the reflection of the mirror. 

When placing a mirror over a sofa, bring the mirror up far enough so that when someone is seated, and their head accidentally tilts backward during a jolly good laugh, their head will only strike the wood frame, not the glass!

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To resilver or replace the mirror glass on an old mirror. Imperfections are part of the charm of an antique mirror.  Embrace the well-earned patina on the glass. 

No-no: To spray cleaners directly on the front of the mirror, because the liquid can drip into the frame and also begin to disintegrate the silver coating on the back.

Instead, spray a soft cloth with the cleaning solution. Then, gently wipe the front surface of the mirror.  Water and liquids can drip into the frame and begin to disintegrate the silver coating on the back.

No-no: To vacuum the back of a mirror or to dust the frame too vigorously. The suction of the vacuum, or the action of abusive dusting, will challenge the integrity of the back, which protects the silver layer. 

Here’s looking at YOU! 

 Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

The Launer: A discrete fashion accessory fit for a Queen!

Ladies use three distinctive terms to reference just ONE essential fashion accessory, one that they carry each day!  Can you guess what it is?  Of course, depending on where one lives in the world, the three names may be interpreted with a uniquely different meaning.  Soooo, which name do you use: pocketbook, handbag, or purse? 

The term "handbag" is often used in England, while "pocketbook" is favored in the South, and a "purse" can reference a small clutch or handbag, a wallet, or a coin holder. 

Whatever name you use, I know you can recognize a beautifully elegant one when you see it!  With that in mind, I am thrilled to introduce you to Launer London, renowned for its understated luxury leather goods and especially for its stunning handbags.  Because they are made in the U.K., "handbag" is the term I shall use.  I have admired Launer handbags... forever.  Every aspect represents quiet, understated elegance.  Launer earned a Royal Warrant in 1968 and continues to be "discreetly famous" (now that's an oxymoron!). 

The Launer "Traviata" handbag was one of THE favored accessories HM Queen Elizabeth II carried on her arm for decades. It is named after the opera La Traviata, written in 1853.  Various sources have mentioned that Her Majesty owned over 200 of them.

HM The Queen was carrying her traditional choice for a handbag, the Launer Traviata, which features a bespoke longer top handle that fit comfortably over her arm.

Launer continues to be a well-loved accessory with royalty around the world, the choice for dignitaries and lovely ladies worldwide. Scully & Scully, on Park Avenue in NYC, has been selling Launer handbags for the past eight years. They are the only brick-and-mortar store to carry them in America and align closely with their brand.  Since 1934, Scully & Scully has been a luxury store that serves an internationally distinguished clientele.  Their must-have mail-order catalog is most tempting, filled with treasures that Mr. Michael Scully personally sources worldwide, and is a trusted resource I refer to for my clients, too.

Recently, I discovered that Launer debuted a new bubblegum pink color, and my heart went pitter-patter!  I shared the news with my husband, Stuart.  It was not long before a gift box arrived at our door in Palm Beach as a surprise... he is a keeper!

I adore the petite size of the Launer "Judi" handbag and the coordinating pocket mirror. It was named for Dame Judi Dench by Gerald Bodmer, the wife of the CEO of Launer. It is smaller than the Traviata, which Queen Elizabeth II carried. 

Launer handbags are lined in soft suede with an optional shoulder strap and a darling little pocket mirror.  Unlike the large logos emblazoned on many other brands, the signature gold-plated rope clasp is charmingly discrete.

I posed a few questions to Scully & Scully about Launer handbags to share with you:

What tends to be the most popular color or style? 

The Traviata is best-selling, specifically in black or white. 

Can one order custom details/features on a bespoke Launer handbag? 

One can order any color combination but what we carry are top sellers around the world.  They can be ordered with different animal skins (snake, lizard, etc.), and custom lining and handle size.

I think the two-tone color combinations are quite attractive. 
Photo: Scully & Scully, NYC

Now you know all about Launer handbags!  If you own one, or decide to order one, share a photo with me as I would love to see the color and style you choose. 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! 

Flower Power: Unlocking the Mysterious Language of Flowers!

Pink peonies from “Stuart’s garden” at Fox Hall, intertwined with mountain laurel, was a centerpiece that I arranged for a dinner party.  Did you know that the mountain laurel, the state flower of Connecticut, symbolizes achievement and perseverance, and pink peonies relay the beauty of marriage and love at first sight?  Together, these two flower varieties offer a loving tribute, in the secret language of flowers, to my darling husband of 48 years!

Do you know the secret language of flowers?

Every day is perfect for giving, receiving, or admiring pretty flowers!  But are you aware of the secret language of flowers?  Besides merely admiring them, the color and the variety of various flowers can have a symbolic meaning behind them... a secret language. 

During the Victorian ages, the language of flowers was an ingenious way of expressing intimate, romantic feelings to another, back when it was taboo to do so blatantly.  The color and type of flower chosen was a silent dialogue.  I was unaware of this lovely language until I discovered a precious little book about the secret language of flowers at my mother-in-law's charming Cape Cod house.  

I was intrigued and enthralled because I adore flower arranging and I asked myself, "What secret message am I relaying with the flowers I give to others?"  Not that the recipient would ever know, but it is amusing to consider. 

Christian Dior was passionate about Lily of the Valley and chose it for his classic perfume, Diorissio. The symbol of Lily of the Valley means purity, a return to happiness, and humility.  Coco Chanel adored the white Camellia (or Chinese Rose), symbolizing everlasting love and devotion.  Oscar Wilde wore a green carnation on his lapel, which was his secret hint that he was a man who loved other men. 

This classic arrangement of white roses at The Ritz Hotel in London represents, in flower language, a sign of purity and a symbol of respect, which is why they are often featured in bridal bouquets.

What do specific flowers relay?

Anemones: anticipation and good luck
Red Carnations: pride and beauty
Daisies: new beginnings 
Gardenias: purity and secret love 
Hyacinths: playfulness and constancy 
Lilacs: (magenta) love and passion; (purple) first love
Lilies: purity and refined love
Peonies: a happy marriage and good fortune
Tulips: perfect love

What do the colors of flowers relay?

Red: A bouquet of red roses indicates romance, because the color red signifies love and passion.  Roses are red, violets are blue, kiss me, and I'll love you!
White: purity and grace
Pink: gratitude, admiration/femininity, gentility, and elegance 
Peach: gratitude
Yellow: joy and gratitude
Purple: enchantment, love at first sight, and success
Orange: enthusiasm and energy

Grandmillennial Tips:

Consider sending cut flowers without a vase to a hostess the day before a dinner party.  She can then arrange them in a container of her choice before the party commences.

When giving flowers to someone you don't know or have never visited, specify the flowers as white or send a white orchid plant.  White can be placed in any room in a house!  

Incorporate the secret language of flowers in your centerpiece as an acknowledgment to the guest of honor.  If you give a toast, share why the flowers were chosen and integrate their meaning into the toast you compose. 

In honor of Lady Carnarvon’s visit from Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey) for a luncheon I hosted, I gave each guest a little container of flowers as a memento gift.  Carnations originated in England, hence the pink carnations.  The horse sculpture served as a nod to our mutual passion for horses, which we shared in the PBS “You Are Cordially Invited” episode here.  

So, what flowers and colors will you give for Valentine’s Day? I am sending my love to you with a bountiful bouquet of PINK PEONIES! 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite one friend to subscribe here! Take a peek at the Addendum below, which has excellent tips for slipcovers.

Slipcover Secrets!

The Brunschwig & Fils floral chintz in the classic Campanula pattern on a period chair in the living room at Fox Hall. I introduced a solid blue chintz as a ¼” contrast welt and a 1 1/2” flat welt to edge the skirt.

Mummy always said, “To get your house in order, host a party or invite house guests.” It is amazing what one can get done with that incentive! Look around; a charming slipcover can be THE perfect remedy for tired or stained upholstery.

Slipcovers, aka ‘loose covers’ in the UK, are a charming way to spruce up a tired piece of upholstery by covering it temporarily. In England, loose covers are just that… slightly loose. In America, they tend to be more snug and fitted.

A slipcover is a custom-made cover that can dress up an upholstered piece and be removed for cleaning.  They can be made with just about any fabric, but traditionally, they are made of cotton, chintz, linen, damask, or even white muslin.  Slipcovers can be changed for the seasons and used to protect furniture from dust and sun. 

The historic Governor's Palace in Williamsburg, Virginia, features simple, checkered cotton slipcovers with a loose fit. They always capture my attention as a timeless and sensible element that protects many upholstered pieces in the Palace. 

Ways to embellish a slipcover:

~ I like to incorporate a contrasting welt (the piping that adorns the seams) for a patterned fabric. Then, the welt is in a solid-colored fabric, which serves to complement a color within the overall fabric design. 

~To accent a slipcover made with a plain colored fabric, I specify a multi-colored ¼” cord with tape.  Then, the cord becomes the decorative detail.

~If there is a skirt, I often trim it with a flat,  ¼” welt along the edging, in a complementary solid-colored fabric.

Even though the fireside chair in the Hunt Room at Fox Hall is not slipcovered, it serves as an example of how a contrast welt works well as an accent and a tailored detail. The Ralph Lauren hunt-print fabric (now discontinued) has a burgundy, solid-colored chintz, which I used for the contrast welt, the edging, and the buttons.  

Zippers and sometimes buttons are applied to a seam on the side or backside to remove a slipcover so they are less noticeable.  

While filming with Lady Carnarvon at Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey) in the “Morning Room,” I was enchanted to discover that the pretty English floral patterned chintz loose covers did not have zippers. Instead, they had the sweetest row of ‘‘hooks-and-eyes” along the back corner seam!

Grandmillennial Tips:

Slipcovers on dining chairs are a sensible way to protect the underneath upholstery from children and their sticky hands.  

Dining Room chairs are perfect candidates for slipcovers. The scalloped skirt adds a touch of whimsy. 

Slipcovers can also be laminated, depending on the fabric, preferably a non-textured fabric.  This technique offers brilliant cleanability, especially in the kitchen! 

Be clever and order two sets of slipcovers for the seasons: one for summer in a cool cotton, linen, or chintz fabric, and one for winter in a soft wool or cotton velvet to give warmth and texture. Depending on the other decorative aspects in the room, consider a happy floral design for the summer and a handsome wool or tartan for the winter. 

Slipcovers continue to be a tailored, old-school touch found in the most distinguished houses. My first design book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, features many more examples!  

Xx Holly

PS: Please peek at my sponsors below and inspire one friend to subscribe!  

What a treasure trove of products to protect your fine possessions!  The Butler’s Closet features covers made of undyed, chemical-free fabric and is used by Museum conservators.  There are a myriad of pieces to protect your wardrobe, shoes, and furniture from damaging dust and fading sunlight.  Take a peek at my video and order here. You’ll be glad you did! 

Special discount codes (below) are being offered to you, courtesy of The Butler's Closet. They are valid until February 7, 2024, and are only for you, my dear subscribers! 

10% off orders over $75 with code HOLLY10
15% off orders over $150 with code HOLLY15
20% off orders over $250 with code HOLLY20

The Perfect Companion to Protect Your Wardrobe!

With my new Holly Holden Collection of clothing, I was inspired to protect each piece and reached out to Barbara Harman, the founder of The Butler’s Closet. She is THE renowned expert on how to protect clothes as well as upholstered furniture. Your clothes, like my new collection, are a serious investment… so I was “seriously interested!” 

Barbara was the former CEO of Parfums Nina Ricci. She was gifted many beautiful clothes from the ready-to-wear and couture collections and searched online to find the best cotton garment bags to protect them, along with cotton dust covers for their newly built weekend house furniture. Nothing was out there to buy! A lightbulb moment. 

She worked with two very experienced and accomplished textile conservators to understand what materials they recommended. The answer?  Storing clothes in 100% cotton, breathable garment bags made from fabrics free of chemicals. So, in 2011, she launched The Butler's Closet, offering products with undyed and unbleached fabric to preserve clothing, shoes, and furniture. The clothing and furniture covers are made from the same fabric conservators use at the Metropolitan Museum. 

Protection begins in the closet! Even if you dress casually, you always need clothing for special occasions (weddings, business conferences, galas). We all know that timeless clothes can last for years if they are maintained properly. Collected dust can harden on jacket shoulders and on top of shoes, and moths love to discover those favorite, rarely used pieces. And, speaking from experience, light makes fabrics fade! Case in point: my daughter once hung her appointed bridesmaid dress on the front of her closet door near a window. Two months later, she returned to get the dress for the wedding, only to discover that due to its location, the afternoon sun had created fade marks across the front of the dress… a disaster!

There is nothing like what The Butler's Closet offers out there.  Each piece, from wardrobe and garment bags, to flannel shoe bags and shoe stuffers, are all made with the utmost quality. The Butler's Closet has customers all over the world, and now I know why! Have questions? Just contact Barbara who is passionate about her business of caring for fine possessions. 

My most favorite pieces in her line? The shoulder covers! They are simple to use, and I can easily see what the outfit is in my closet. I also adore the deluxe cotton storage bags for sweaters. The suit covers for Stuart's white dinner jacket, Black tie and tails are great too! 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To keep your clothes stored in plastic dry-cleaning bags. Petroleum-based products can emit gas that may cause fabrics to deteriorate.

What is done: Textile conservators recommend storing clothes in 100% cotton, breathable garment bags free of chemicals. 

I thought you may wish to know about The Butler's Closet too. So… guess what my special dresses, jackets, gowns and heels are going to bed in now?! 

Xx

Holly

PS: Special discount codes (below) are being offered to you, courtesy of The Butler's Closet. They are valid until February 7, 2024, and are only for you, my dear subscribers! 

10% off orders over $75 with code HOLLY10
15% off orders over $150 with code HOLLY15
20% off orders over $250 with code HOLLY20

Afternoon Tea: Are you MIF or TIF!?

Afternoon tea was served to me in Cliveden House’s library, commencing with a glass of champagne… the absolute PERFECT welcome to this grand house steeped in history.  

Having just returned from Merry Old England, I wanted to share a colloquial term I was introduced to while having afternoon tea at Cliveden House.  The English lady I was with asked, "Do you drink your tea ‘white’?” “Yes, I like milk in my tea whilst in England,” I answered. (I prefer lemon when in America) And then she asked, “Are you a MIF or TIF?” with an amused smile and a wink! 

The tradition of pouring afternoon tea has many nuances, but this reference was new to me. I soon found out that it refers to “Milk in first” or “Tea in first” when pouring the tea from a teapot into the cup. 

It was considered refined to pour the milk into the cup after the tea (TIF), and more “downstairs” to pour the milk in first (MIF).  The theory was that pouring the milk in first would protect the cup from possibly cracking from the boiling hot tea, and cups were expensive to replace. Alternatively, if you could afford fine porcelain and have cups to spare, the milk would be poured in after the tea (TIF). 

This is similar to the “What goes on your scone first, the clotted cream or the jam?” question.  (The “Devon” method is when the clotted cream goes on first, and the jam is applied on top, while the “Cornish” method has the strawberry jam first, topped with a layer of clotted cream.) Still fiercely debated! It is your preference, although now, scientists are saying that the milk blends chemically better when you have a MIF pour!  Ha… my British father would have insisted on TIF, no questions asked! 

The soft sunlight poured in the window to highlight Nancy Astor’s ribbon design on the plates and the scrumptious goodies served at Cliveden’s afternoon tea.

GrandMillennial Tip:

What do you do if you make your tea with a teabag in a mug? Your only choice is TIF because you must wait for the teabag to brew in the cup, and then one should remove the teabag and then add the milk.  The milk cannot go in first as it will cool down the hot water, and the teabag will not brew/ steep correctly.   

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To refer to “afternoon tea” as “high tea.”

What is done:  “Afternoon tea” is more formal, with delicate tea sandwiches, scones, lady-like cakes and sweets served mid-afternoon.  Many Americans mistakenly say “high tea” when, in fact, they are referring to “afternoon tea.”  Here is the difference: “High tea” is served as a more wholesome meal, not delicate goodies, and is served after work or in the evening, not in the afternoon. 

The charming traditions in England are so enchanting. So, are you “Miffy or Tiffy”... now that you know the difference? 

Xx

Holly

PS: English tea time tradition was first invented at Belvoir Castle in England in the 1840s. Her Grace, the Duchess of Rutland, is hosting an inaugural gala on February 10th at The Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach to benefit “The American Friends of Belvoir Castle.” She was my Honorary Chair when I chaired the Salvation Army Paradise Ball in 2022.  I had the honor of being a houseguest at Belvoir in 2023. I can attest that the castle is vast (used as a double for Windsor Castle in The Crown), and maintenance is an ongoing challenge, as with any historic edifice.  Consider attending; it will be a ball, and I would love to meet you! It is not too late to purchase your ticket here.

The noble art of needlepoint!

This needlepoint eyeglass case once belonged to Mummy, so I had it inset using a  pretty Scalamandrestriped silk fabric to frame it as a petite pillow, and it continues to be a sweet memory for me. Remember, a pillow does not have to consist entirely of the needlepoint canvas. You can cheat a little by adding more fabric around the canvas! 

Here is a lovely idea to commence 2024: create a needlepoint pillow! The art and implementation to create a needlepoint creates a sense of calm and a quiet time to savor. What you create will give joy and bring back distinct memories. 

Needlepoint pillows are a timeless staple in classic, preppy interiors as well as in noble residences, especially if made by a member of the household. They can add a touch of whimsy and give a glimpse into your interests. The design you choose can pique a conversation when others admire it.

I devoted an entire chapter to needlepoint pillows in my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room… I adore them!  But, true confession: once I start a piece, I cannot stop. I become a sleepless addict, staying up until I finish it. Heaven, help me! 

My talented sister-in-law made this adorable needlepoint belt for me. When I outgrew it, I had it cut in half, inserted into some bubblegum pink shantung silk, and made into two kidney pillows for the tellie room.

From my experience, a house that has a few handmade needlepoint pillows is a crystal ball that indicates a truly charming home. I know that I am in the presence of an enchanting needlepointer! Every needlepointer that I have ever known has been clever, intelligent, talented, well-traveled, and charming. Now, that is a big statement and has always held true for me. From Princess Grace to Barbara Bush, Marie Antoniette, my mother and sister-in-law, and precious friends, they are all part of the distinguished needlepoint society. 

Down the street from Fox Hall is the former home of Anna Roosevelt Cowles, the older sister to President Theodore Roosevelt. Her daughter-in-law was an avid and very accomplished needlepointer. A few of her creations still adorn the Cowles house, along with a breathtaking carpet that she stitched, featuring the design of the Chippendale front gate that graces the front of the historic home.  A carpet... talk about being a devotee to needlepoint! And the tradition carries on to this day, in the same house. 

Lovingly made, these three pillows each have a story behind them, which I find to be a simply enchanting aspect of handmade needlepoint pillows. 

I do hope you will be inspired to take up needlepoint if you haven’t already. Or, if you are not inclined to learn this time-honored pastime, you can embellish your house with the needlepoint pillows offered at Scully and Scully, which are perfectly charming.

GrandMillennial Tip:

Have a zipper enclosure inserted along the bottom edge of your pillow so that you can easily remove the cover and have it dry-cleaned. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To have pillow inserts made of foam rubber. Traditionally, pillows are always filled with down feather inserts.

No-no: To have so many pillows on a chair or sofa that a guest cannot be comfortably seated!

Xx 

Holly

Thoughtful holiday gestures!

The little white box, given to me as a hostess gift from a dear friend, held hand-rolled toffee candies that were made from her cherished family recipe from England.

Being with family and friends is always a merry occasion, especially during the holidays.  Here are a few thoughtful tips Mummy shared with me… and I am passing them along to you!

As a host:  

Make the extra effort to welcome your guests at the door and greet them with JOY! 

As a guest: 

Bring a little gift, preferably something homemade (always the best gift)! Whether it is your unique recipe for spiced nuts, a yummy pecan pie that can be frozen for future use, a box of your signature cookies, a coffee cake, or a breakfast casserole for the following day, a homemade gift will relay the love in your heart to your hosts.

Write a little note to accompany your gift, and compose a sentence or two on why you are grateful for your friendship.

A longtime friend made this fruit topiary for me at a workshop, hosted by the Colonial Dames of Connecticut and was led by my friend, Ruth Loiseau, the White House floral designer. It is visually lovely, and my grandchildren will delight in plucking the fruit off at our Christmas morning breakfast- double joy!

GrandMillennial Tips:

If you are contributing to a party, place a little piece of masking tape on the bottom and write your name on it. It will be easy for the hostess to distinguish your pan or serving piece from similar ones.

In the South, it is an unwritten rule of graciousness that if you return a pan or serving piece to someone who brought food on it to your house, you never return it empty. It doesn’t have to be much; it is the thought that counts!  Include a little goodie (cookies, nuts, or some flowers) along with their empty serving piece.  For example, when a hostess friend returned the tray that I used to serve my cheese blintzes on at her party, she returned it with a jar of her homemade wild Cape Cod grape jam… oh, goodie! 

If you gift a Christmas ornament, use a gold or silver marker to write the date on it and personalize it, if space allows! Use the same marker on a bottle of wine or champagne to write the date and sign it with your best wishes. These personalized gestures will remind the recipient about the occasion, bringing them even more joy in the years to come.

Wishing you and your darling loved ones joy, happiness, and peace on earth during this advent season.

Xx 

Holly

Embracing Elegance: The timeless art of graceful deportment!

My favorite painting, “Dancers in Pink” by Edward Degas, is one of many treasured artworks featured in the living room at the Hill-Stead Museum in Farmington, Connecticut. A pretty flutter of pink… with perfected ballet posture! 

In a world where technology consumes our attention, good posture and graceful deportment can often be overlooked!

While attending an afternoon tea in NYC, a lovely young lady approached me to chat. I admired her posture and the way she held her head high; she was incredibly graceful. After a while, I inquired if she had been a dancer. It was no surprise to learn that she had performed ballet internationally. Her balletic walk and stance were poised, effortless, and not exaggerated. She appeared confident and elegant. Her refinement inspired me to stand even taller… good posture can be contagious!

The art of smiling and standing tall is a form of communicating. It is a respectful acknowledgment of another person’s presence. The genteel art of deportment relays grace and poise and is a quiet sign of refinement. Remember when your Mum reminded you to “Stand up straight and pull your shoulders back!?” Standing tall is equivalent to a firm handshake and a “How do you do?” It exudes confidence and polish.

To me, elegant deportment and good carriage are commensurate with wearing a beautiful outfit, conveying tenacity and a self-assured spirit. Start the new year by making a concerted effort to walk taller, sit with an elegant purpose, and greet others with smiling eyes… then watch to see if others around you follow suit! 

Grandmillennial Tip:

A renowned plastic surgeon friend shared with me that this “generation of cell phone users” is continually gazing down at their phone screens, which causes premature aging. The remedy? Position the center of your phone or computer screen so that your eyes are looking at the center, not below it! This secret golden nugget of advice may save your neck from premature aging… I'm listening. My phone screen will be held “upward” from now on! 

I hope you pirouette into a stunning new year! 

Xx

Holly

Cultivate The New Year With Gratitude!

Cheers!  Happy New Year 2024! 

These darling, hand-painted cocktail napkins were a gift from Lemondaisy. I sent this photograph to her to acknowledge my gratitude and how I use them. 

After Christmas, Mummy gently, but firmly, encouraged me to write my thank-you notes for the presents I received from relatives. As I wrote, I longingly observed my friends playing outside… it felt like torture!  Yet, due to her insistence, gratitude became ingrained in me- it’s not innate. You are not born with gratitude; it is a learned mannerism. 

The Episcopal girls' school in Richmond, Virginia, where I attended, has a motto: "What we keep, we lose; only what we give remains our own." Expressing gratitude is among life's paramount endeavors.

Beyond a handwritten note, try to demonstrate to your gift-giver how you use their gift or express in person the joy it brings. This additional "nod of gratitude" is a kind and thoughtful gesture that will always be appreciated.

Wearing a gift when anticipating the gift-giver's presence or sharing your experience with a gifted item via email or phone call are simple ways to extend “additional gratitude.” Tell someone when you have used their recipe and how successful it was. Send an email photograph of a gift book while reading it on holiday, or show the champagne bottle you enjoyed for a special occasion. It does not take much effort to share additional gratitude… even when it is long after the gift was given to you.

A big kiss to you, my dear subscribers, for inspiring others to join in. You are keeping gracious living alive with an ever-growing international audience. 

To my dedicated team- Sabrena, Kristen, and Jenn- thank you for your tireless efforts in bringing this newsletter to the world and nurturing the growth of my business. What fun 2024 will be!

May 2024 be a gentle and gracious year filled with gratitude and prayers for peace on earth. 

With gratitude, 

Xx

Holly

How to repurpose napkin rings!

This Coalport horse and rider napkin ring was a gift to me many years ago. He jumps over boxwood and faux berries onto my Christmas platters every year! 

For your Christmas dinner, consider the idea of repurposing a napkin ring by transforming it into a darling  “petite adornment” to enhance food on a tray or table, or even in a powder room. 

Slip just a few sprigs of holly, pine or some flowers into a napkin ring, and voila! You'll have an attractive, Lilliputian-sized arrangement, and it only takes seconds to make. 

A little background about napkins rings: 

Napkin rings were created in France in the 19th century. Decorative napkin rings made of silver, porcelain, and other materials became popular in America, especially in the 20th century, and it continues today. Napkin rings were meant to identify napkins for family members and house guests so that the napkins could be used more than once before washing. 

Mummy only used her silver napkin rings for our family or her house guests, but never for a dinner party. She adhered to the old-school rule that using a napkin ring for a dinner guest would indicate that the napkins would be reused! Those words have stayed with me, as I only use my silver napkin rings for family members or house guests too. 

I started collecting polished pewter napkin rings (no polishing required!) for the birth of each grandchild with their name and birth date engraved on it.  

While visiting my daughter, Alexandra, in England, I plucked some pretty pink heather from her garden and placed it inside my granddaughter’s napkin ring to adorn her pink Herend Chinese Bouquet platter for an impromptu cocktail party.

GrandMillennial Tips:

Silver napkin rings are often considered a  thoughtful Christening present and appropriate for the birth of a baby. It is a lovely tradition to have them engraved to mark the baby's name and the occasion or date. It is also quite a practical gift, as the parents can use them too!

Another benefit of having napkin rings with the names or initials of family members is that children enjoy placing their personalized rings where they wish to be seated at the table, similar to a place card. 

My wishes to you for a most joyous holiday with family and friends.  Merry Christmas, dear ones! 

Xx

Holly

What is a "white dinner jacket" dress code?

As the Co-Chair of the Salvation Army of Palm Beach’s “Christmas in Paradise” 2023 gala this coming December 16th, I believe it will be a magical evening, dancing under the stars to the sounds of Sinatra!  The dinner dance is set around the stunning Olympic pool, which overlooks the ocean at The Beach Club in Palm Beach. The color scheme? Well, you guessed it: pink & green! 

The invitation sets the scene with this description on the insert: 

“Once upon a time, old Palm Beach was a very glamorous place, especially in the 50’s!  While Sinatra and the Rat Pack sang, gentlemen danced in their white dinner jackets with elegant ladies bejeweled in flowing dresses… and hair perfectly coiffed.  This intoxicating party scene was de rigueur!”

What is the dress code for this gala?

 It is “white dinner jacket.” 

“What is the difference between “white dinner jacket” versus “white tie?”  

A BIG difference!  Let me explain:

A white dinner jacket is equivalent to black-tie (aka tuxedo). But the major difference between the two is that white dinner jackets are worn only in the warm summer months or in a tropical venue (preferably at an outside function).

“White tie” is also called “tails” and is the most formal attire for gentlemen. Ladies are required to wear long gowns, never cocktail dresses. 

What do you do if you do not have a white dinner jacket?  

Wear black-tie (tux) because they are interchangeable, except that a white dinner jacket is worn ONLY in warm or tropical locations and would never be worn in the winter. Black-tie can be worn any time of year, in the summer or the winter.

What do ladies wear when the dress code is white dinner jacket or black-tie?  

They can wear a short, dressy cocktail dress OR a long gown.  

Is it too late to purchase a ticket to attend the Salvation Army’s “Christmas in Paradise” gala? 

No! Call by tomorrow to purchase a ticket, as this is the final cut-off for the headcount! Email: michelle.rodriguez@uss.salvationarmy.org  or #561-686-3560.

 I would be thrilled if you would attend!  So, join me and meet charming supporters of this exceptional charity, one that makes a stupendous difference around the world, and that I am honored to support.

Xx

Holly