Wedding Guests: 5 no-no's to know!

Alexandra, our daughter, was married to Maximilian in the Berlin Cathedral (Berlin Dom), which is the largest Protestant Cathedral in Germany. The service was performed by our Farmington minister in English and the minister of the Dom in German. It was a magical day as we celebrated with family and guests who came from all over the world.

As I reflected on Alexandra's magical wedding day in Berlin, I was reminded of how much thought and care goes into making such occasions meaningful. Recently, a bride shared her observations about guest etiquette—things she wished everyone knew. With 'wedding season' upon us, here are a few timeless tips and thoughtful reminders for being a gracious guest that every couple hopes to see at their ceremony! 

No-no: To arrive at the exact time listed on the invitation.

What to do: Plan to arrive 15–20 minutes early. This ensures you're seated before the ceremony begins. When the mother-of-the-bride rises, take that as your cue to stand.

No-no: To wear sunglasses during the ceremony or the reception.

What to do: Remove them before entering the church. Even if the reception is outside, refrain from wearing sunglasses. Why? When the wedding couple look back fondly at their wedding photographs, they want to see the faces of their guests, not sunglassed-movie stars!  

No-no: To have your cell phone on or to chew gum.

What is done:  Turn your cell phone OFF as even the vibrate mode may possibly be heard during a solemn moment.  And, leave the gum in the car!

No-no: For guests to wear white dresses.

What is done:  As popular as it is to wear white these days, remember, it is the bride’s day to shine and stand out in the crowd of guests. (Although, royal wedding participants traditionally do wear white.) When in doubt about the dress code, reach out to the bride, groom, or the bride’s mother to confirm what is expected. It is also considerate to ask what shades the bridesmaids will be wearing to avoid matching them. 

No-no:  To say “congratulations” to the bride. 

What is done: The word “congratulations” to a bride, historically, implies that the bride won the groom, when in fact, the groom should be congratulated for having the bride accept his proposal.  And, yes, this is an old-school tradition, but worthy of your attention.  “Congratulations” are in order for the groom, and “best wishes” to the bride and/or to the newlywed couple.   

Our daughter Caroline, and her new husband Edward, merrily departed the reception at Marble House in Newport, Rhode Island with joyful guests cheering!

While it may be tempting to photograph the ceremony, leave that up to the professional photographer. Your respectful attention is what is revered and expected in the church. If you wish to photograph outside of the church or at the reception, be thoughtful about it.  If you are tempted to post your photographs on social media, try to refrain until you can ask the bride for her permission first before sharing your images, as she has invited you as a guest, not as the paparazzi! 

My family shared a cherished and sentimental moment that was captured in the Dom… our first child to be married.

Being a thoughtful guest is a meaningful way to honor the wedding couple and contribute to the joy of their celebration. Weddings are a time of love, tradition, family and friends—and your gracious presence will be remembered and cherished fondly. 

I imagine you have a few more no-no’s to share for your personal experiences too- please, do tell!

Xx

Holly 

PS: I am delighted that the Director of the Hill-Stead Museum, Anna Swinbourne, will be joining us for the luncheon I am hosting on July 20th. A special tour of the museum is also being offered. There is still one place available for the luncheon, so please let me know if you wish to attend. It will most certainly be a festive event at Fox Hall with such charming guests in attendance!

Sunglasses: Summer Etiquette!

What do summer sunglasses and gloves have in common?

Both are thoughtfully removed whilst being introduced to another person!

Recently, I attended a lovely luncheon fundraiser in Palm Beach, held outside under a charming, fern-adorned canopy by The Colony Hotel's pool. I was seated at a table with an inspiring and very accomplished group of ladies. The conversation amongst us was informative and most delightful! Here is the conundrum: one lady had sunglasses on the entire time. If I ever have the good fortune of seeing her again, I must confess that I will not have a clue who she is, because she never removed her sunglasses! And, her sunglasses were tinted silver, giving them a mirror-like appearance… rawwwther distracting, as I looked at myself the entire time I spoke to her!

Another similar experience was when a friend invited me to lunch at The Breakers. As we departed the dining room, my host recognized a longtime friend entering and introduced me to her. The friend wore a hat and very dark sunglasses. Well, I can remember her name, but I have no idea what she looks like. I would never be able to recognize her!  And yet, after our lengthy conversation, she might be able to recognize me if we ever ran into one another again. It would be embarrassing for me not to acknowledge her. Has this ever happened to you?!

Just as removing your right-hand glove is a courtesy when shaking hands with another person, removing your sunglasses upon meeting someone for the first time is not only a time-honored tradition, but also a thoughtfully gracious gesture. 

Out of consideration, I also choose to remove my sunglasses when greeting someone I already know. There is something about “smiling eyes” that express love and joy, which I prefer not to hide behind my sunglasses!  

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To wear sunglasses inside at a social gathering. 

No-no:  To wear sunglasses to a wedding ceremony. Even if it takes place outside and the sun is shining, it's thoughtful to remove them so that the photographs of the event show who the guests are, and not the “wannabe movie stars” (wink wink) wearing sunglasses. 

Pink wishes for a sunny summer!

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and share this with a friend or family member; perhaps they will be inspired to subscribe too!

Walking to the new Palm Hotel, on Royal Palm Way in Palm Beach, in my Kristen Maxi Dress from Jude Connally! 

The Cachet of Cachepots!

One of my most cherished treasures is a pair of Herend cachepots in the Chinese Bouquet pattern, rendered in a delicate raspberry pink. Just look at those pretty little gilded legs! These were a thoughtful gift from dear friends—somehow, they knew that I had a weakness for pink. Today, they grace our mantle at Fox Hall, flanking a beloved English Staffordshire horse at the center. When the peonies and pink mountain laurel are in bloom, I especially enjoy arranging their blossoms in these darling vessels.

There certainly is cachet to cachepots!  

When my daughter received a cachepot as a wedding gift, she turned to me with a puzzled look. “A planter?” she asked as she was composing her thank-you note. I told her, “No, it is called a cachepot.” The look on her face was priceless. “A what? Mummy, is that one of your old-school Southern terms? It looks like a planter to me!” Well, she wasn’t entirely wrong—it does hold a plant! But the term is French: cachepot (pronounced cash-poe), translates to “hide a pot”—specifically, a flower pot.

Unlike outdoor planters, a cachepot is designed for indoor display and does not have drainage holes. It's not meant to replace a traditional flowerpot but rather to conceal it, elevating the appearance of the plant or floral arrangement within. A beautiful porcelain cachepot can transform an ordinary houseplant, a clutch of cut flowers, or even seasonal bulbs into a refined decorative accent.

Cachepots are typically sized to suit tabletops, mantles, chests, or consoles. Larger vessels, such as jardinieres or floor planters, tend to reside on the floor and serve a different decorative purpose. The more ornate and gilded the cachepot, the more at home it will feel in a formal setting. Antique and reproduction porcelain cachepots, with their delicate hand-painted motifs and gleaming gold embellishments, are perfect for a living room, dining table, powder room, or mantle piece.

Conversely, simpler or more modern designs crafted from wicker, metal, lacquer, bamboo, or brass, suit informal spaces beautifully such as kitchens, libraries, or sunrooms. 

Next time you’re tempted by a grocery store or floral shop orchid, azalea, or a pot of daffodils, slip the plastic pot into a cachepot instead, and you’ll instantly elevate your purchase from utilitarian to charming.

GrandMillennial Design Tips:

• Buy in pairs. A matching pair of cachepots creates symmetry and balance, especially on a mantle. Fill them with seasonal flowers, a classic topiary, or a graceful trailing ivy for a timeless appearance.

• Play with placement. One long, narrow cachepot centered on a mantle, bookshelf, or dining table can be just as impactful as a pair.

• Repurpose your cachepot! Cachepots make lovely vessels for silver flatware at a buffet, a creative candle holder, or even a chic ice bucket for a bottle of wine. Want to serve ice cream at the table in style? Nest the container in a cachepot for an effortlessly elegant presentation.

• Coordinate colors: As with any accessory, consider your room’s color scheme and design style. Both the cachepot and the floral contents should harmonize with your space.

• A cherished gift. Cachepots make thoughtful gifts for weddings, birthdays, or to a hostess when invited as a houseguest. Their versatility and beauty ensure they’ll be enjoyed for years to come, in any room and any season.
   

This hand-painted cachepot by Anna Weatherly features delicate pink tulips and echoes the artistic traditions of Hungary. Crafted from fine European porcelain and embellished with 24K gold accents, it measures 7½" in diameter and 6¼" high. It’s available at Scully and Scully on Park Avenue in NYC and is ideal for elegantly dressing up a store-bought plant!

On another note, I am thrilled to be hosting another luncheon on July 20th! The table is almost complete, with only two spaces remaining available.  HERE is more detailed information.  It was a delightful experience meeting charming subscribers from across the USA last fall.  We will have a grand time this July too… I hope that you can attend! 

Xx

Holly

P.S. I've partnered with artist Mara Sfara for an exciting giveaway! Click here or the image below to learn how to enter.

Dog Etiquette for Guests: The Do's and Don'ts!

This is my sweet, but very naughty, Miss Zsa Zsa, our fourth English Jack Russell terrier. They are “terrors,” but adorable! Photo credit: Gabriella Narus

“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.” 

Max Eastman, American Author 

As long as I can remember, four-legged furry animals have always made my heart go ‘pitter-patter’ with happiness. I have been fortunate to have always had a dog (and a few cats too). I brought home all kinds of “random treasures” as a child, much to the shock of my unsuspecting parents. I cannot imagine life without animals!

But, not everyone loves dogs, so here are a few etiquette reminders. 

This sweet illustration with a Jack Russell captured my heart as a child… and still does!

If your dog is going to be a houseguest, consider these courtesies:

~Inquire where the animal should stay in the house before arriving. Either bring a kennel cage, or a baby-gate, as needed to mind your pet. 

~It is rawwwther presumptuous to ask if your pet can sleep in the bed with you, as the host/hostess may not want pet hair or dander in their guest room or on their beautiful linens. 

~Along with the food you pack for your dog or cat, bring along bowls for their food and water. Don’t expect to use their pretty porcelain.

~Bring a lead to walk your dog and pick up after them… and if a “mistake” happens in the house, clean it up the best you can. It is thoughtful to admit this mistake to the owner of the house and offer to pay for a professional to clean the spot on the carpet. 

 “A house is not a home until it has a dog.” 

Gerald Durrell

“Oops, the flower vase fell over… curious Jack Russells!

For guests visiting your house: Ask them two questions, either at the door, or preferably in advance of their arrival:

- “Are you allergic to dogs (or cats)?”

- “Are you afraid of dogs?”

Their answer will alert you immediately so that you may place your pet in another room while your guests are visiting. We will keep Zsa Zsa in her “penthouse” until our guests leave… unless they request to see her!

 “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role models for being alive.” 

Gilda Radner Comedienne

Jack Russells tend to be “jumping-jacks,” especially as puppies, and cannot control their excitement when greeting someone new! Remember, it can be quite disconcerting for any guest to have a dog lick, jump, or shed on their clothes, especially on a black dress, stockings, or dark suit.  

“If you want a friend in Washington, D.C, get a dog.” 

Former President Harry S. Truman

Instill in your children, at a young age, to always ask first, “May I pet your dog?” before touching someone else’s dog. 

Do not assume that other people want your dog to sniff their dog! Keep your dog close to you while walking them. While my dog loves people and children, she is not friendly with other dogs and it’s very disconcerting when others allow their dog to come running over to her! 

Grandmillennial Tips:

If your dog is allowed on your furniture, consider purchasing a few extra yards of the same fabric when you are having a piece upholstered or slipcovered. With the extra yardage, have a throw-blanket made. When you place the throw on the furniture, it will “disappear” visually and can quickly be dry cleaned as needed, saving the actual upholstery fabric undue wear, and… pet fragrance! It can even be quilted or have a decorative trim applied.

If your petite dog is allowed to hop on your sofa or sleep on your bed but requires a leg-up, consider buying a small, decorative antique footstool to place next to it, versus mundane generic dog steps! 

 “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” 

Author Phil Pastoret

Xx

Holly 

PS: If you have dog-loving friends, please forward this to them, and hopefully, they will be inspired to subscribe too!

Butter makes it better!

For a ladies’ luncheon for the Duchess of Rutland, visiting from Belvoir Castle, I placed heart-shaped butter on the guest’s butter plates. (The candles are lit just to add ambiance to the photograph. The tradition in the USA is not to light them before dusk!) 

In a dash? I usually am!  I enjoy cooking for my dinner parties, which is my way of showing love.  But, when my travel and time do not allow me to, and a caterer is a must, I still try to make the dessert, create the floral arrangement, and add one more little detail that graces the table.  What could it be?

I use a butter mold so that each person’s individual butter plate has a uniquely shaped piece of butter on it. This is incredibly easy to do and can be prepared in advance, then frozen until your party. One and done!

Butter molds have been used since the 18th century and were traditionally made of wood, used by dairy farmers. Their stamped designs indicated their farms and added visual appeal. And today, there are fanciful molds for individual shapes made of silicone. A multitude of designs can be found in specialty kitchen suppliers online, and customized molds can be ordered on Etsy.  

In our historic Georgian house in Glastonbury, CT, the Brunschwig & Fils documentary wallpaper in our dining room featured a few butterflies, hence a butterfly mold, which now complements our Queen Victoria Herend porcelain plates.  And I also have a fox head mold for Fox Worth, our place in Palm Beach.

While shopping for Valentine's gifts for my grandchildren, I spied a heart-shaped silicone ice cube mold for petite ice cubes, which can also be easily used for butter molds. Can you spy the fox head mold next to it? 

I find silicone molds extremely pliable, making them the most manageable vessel to use when removing frozen butter (as seen in my video HERE).  They can also be placed in the dishwasher. 

First, I allow a stick of butter to come to room temperature, then spread it into the molds, and freeze.  Add saran wrap on top to keep the butter fresh.  Remove from the freezer, bend and snap it out, and place one or two on everyone’s butter plate before your guests arrive. (Or, have your caterer place them while the dinner is prepared.)

GrandMillennial Tips:

If you don’t have time to make the butter molds, just slice pieces of butter lengthwise from the rectangular stick, then cut them in half, creating two triangles. 

Place a stick of butter into some saran wrap, and roll the softened butter into a log shape.  Chill and cut into rounds. 

Butter is even more appealing when it has a touch of greenery on or next to it.  As long as I have been entertaining, I try to place a little sprig of rosemary, parsley, mint, or even a tiny leaf or flower (from a non-poisonous plant) on or near the butter. 

Just a touch of green makes the butter sing!

Have you heard of a butter curler? It appears to be a metal hook with one serrated side. My advice: avoid it! I find it challenging to master this instrument, so I use my easy silicone molds instead.

These butterballs were presented to me by the waiter at Renato’s Restaurant off Worth Avenue.  Restaurants use these for the perfect “butterball shape.” They can be purchased pre-made online. 

Oh, I  am happy to announce an upcoming event! I do hope you’ll join me! I am hosting another private luncheon at Fox Hall in Farmington, Connecticut, on July 20th.  Do keep an eye out for the invitation, which will be sent to your email this week. Last year, I was honored that the spaces filled up very quickly, and I hope that you can attend. (And butter will be served!)

Xx Holly

PS: Please be a dear and forward this to a friend, inspiring them to subscribe!

Gallant Gestures: A Gentleman's Guide to Opening Doors!

After I had first entered the handsome doors of The Jockey Club in Newmarket, England, Stuart followed.  What an impressive private club, boasting “no less than six Prime Ministers on its list of members.”

Last week, I wrote about the etiquette of opening doors, which inspired two gentlemen readers to reach out to me. Robert reminded me, “Gentlemen, it is always ‘ladies first’ when exiting an elevator!” Kristopher kindly encouraged me to address manners specific to young gentlemen, to instill awareness of proper “door protocol.” Grand idea! 

So, dear gentlemen, allow me to share a few timeless suggestions. While some of these customs may seem old-fashioned, the spirit behind them is eternal: kindness, consideration, and—shall I dare say—gallantry. (Plus, a few brownie points in the eyes of a lady never hurt.)

Sidewalks:
When walking with a lady, a gentleman should walk on the side closest to the curb. Traditionally, this protected the woman from passing vehicles and splashes from street puddles. Even today, it remains a thoughtful gesture that demonstrates awareness and consideration.

Staircases:
Ladies go first when walking up a staircase. However, when descending, the gentleman should go first, just in case she may trip or require a steadying hand.

Boarding a Boat:
Gentlemen, board first and offer your hand to assist the lady safely aboard.

Restaurants & Buildings:
Entering? Hold the door and allow the lady to go first. Exiting? It’s considerate for the gentleman to step out first and hold the door open. Why? To ensure her safety in case of any danger outside of the building. (Well, in this day and age, in big cities, this is still a good idea!)   

Dining Out:
Let the lady order first, unless she asks you to do so. It’s a respectful gesture.

Car Doors: 
Always open the car door for a lady. If it's a hired car, and you're both seated in the back, don’t ask her to scoot over. Close her door, then walk around and enter from the other side.

An exciting and joyful moment with my gallant husband, Stuart, before we entered the car to deliver us to Buckingham Palace to attend a dinner hosted by the Princess Royal, Princess Anne. 

While times have changed, the heart of etiquette remains the same: treating others with respect and thoughtfulness. These small acts of consideration might feel old-fashioned, but they never go out of style. And gentlemen—whether you're 18 or 80—kindness will always set you apart as a “Prince of a Man!” 

Xx

Holly

PS Happy birthday wishes today to my darling daughter, Alexandra, in Berlin, Germany! We love you to the sun, moon, and stars… and beyond!

The etiquette of entering & exiting doors!

How elated I was to attend my “big” reunion at St. Catherine’s School, an Episcopal girls’ prep school in Richmond, Virginia, which started in 1890… and no, I’m not THAT old! 

My dear parents gave me the opportunity to attend a school that embraces gracious traditions. Because of that, I also made lifelong friends and camaraderie. At my reunion, many commented about my newsletter and how they share it with their children and grandchildren… the ultimate compliment!  My darling classmate, Caroline, suggested the topic of  “common courtesies” as a refresher and reminder for us to share with our children. The topic? Doors: how to politely go in and out of a public door! 

“All doors open to courtesy.” – Thomas Fuller

RULE #1: Whenever you push or pull a door open, look behind you to see if someone else is coming, and hold it open for them. 

Proper protocol suggests that the person coming out of the door has the right of way, and the person outside of the door politely waits to the side. If the occasion allows, the person outside the door offers to hold the door open while the other person departs the building. 

The front door at Fox Hall continues to be a happy “revolving door” to friends, family, parties, and receptions!

While in Williamsburg, Virginia, I walked to The Cheese Shop. (Have you ever tried their Virginia peanuts? I bet you can’t eat just one!) As I was about to enter the store, a 10-year-old boy came out of the door, saw me waiting outside, and slammed the door shut in front of me. I surmise that he didn't know better. It's not a big deal, but then again, IT IS! Unless you teach your children these common courtesies, they will never know, because thoughtful manners are taught. They are not innate behaviors. (Even though we, as parents, wish they were!) 

“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” - C. Thomas

How about elevator doors? How many times have you had to say, “Excuse me,” to people eager to board the elevator, blocking the door outside as you attempt to exit the elevator? Those waiting for the elevator should kindly stand to the side, not in front of it. This is a crucial courtesy to teach children. And subway doors? Well, good luck with that… a whole other dilemma! 

At the Farmington Polo Club, the person leading a horse out of the barn has the right of way. If a horse and rider are waiting outside, they move aside until the other horse and rider walk out of the barn. 

“Be an opener of doors.”  - Ralph Waldo Emmerson 

Grand Millennial Tips:

Many gentlemen hesitate to open a door for a lady these days, for fear they will hear unpleasantness from the lady, like how she is capable of doing it herself! I find opening a door for a lady to be exceptionally thoughtful, and I am flattered by this courteous and polite gesture. 

This is what I do: when a gentleman who is ahead of me politely stops to hold a door open for me as I enter a public building, I make a point of thanking him AND encouraging him to go in front of me if there is a queue ahead, e.g., the post office, bank, ice cream counter. Why should he have to wait behind me to be served when he was there first? This is a new “common courtesy” for ladies to extend to gentlemen, especially in this age of equality. 

When you see a Mum with a baby stroller, dash to open the door for her. As a mother and grandmother, I vividly remember the struggle of trying to open a door whilst pushing a stroller!

Happy Memorial Day! It is our honor to celebrate the men and women who have served our country.  We enjoy our American freedom because of their commitment and service.  God Bless America! 

XX

Holly

PS: I hope you will peek at my new “Holly Holden Collection x Jude Connally,” classically designed dresses that are to be loved and lived in!  See the link below.

Pictured above: Tierney Dress Jude Cloth & Kristen Maxi Dress Jude Cloth. 

Exciting News!! Jude Connally & Holly Holden Collaborate!

Exciting news!  I am ELATED to unveil my latest collaboration!

 ~The Jude Connally x Holly Holden Collection~

Together, we designed a collection of happy dresses for day and play!

So, how did this all transpire?  

Here is my story!

About 12 years ago, Stuart and I were at the Saratoga Races in New York. Afterwards, we walked down Broadway, when Stuart spied a pretty pink dress by Jude Connally in a pop-up shop. I tried it on, and we were both smitten. I still have (and wear) that dress. I had never heard of her brand until then… and henceforth, have continued to fill my wardrobe with her creations!

No matter where I am, Jude Connally's dresses have an “attractor factor.” I always garner numerous compliments and inquiries when wearing one!  My admiration for this timelessly pretty clothing brand inspired me to reach out in 2021 and interview Jude Zimmerman, the clever designer behind the brand.  That is when I learned about her secret “Jude cloth,” which is soft, comfortable, and washable.

We became friends who share the same values and embrace elegant, classical design. In celebration of Jude Connally's 15-year milestone, we collaborated to create a timeless, colorful, and joyful “Holly Holden Collection.”  Each piece is meant to be lived in and loved! 

Not only are Jude Connally's designs pretty, but they are also flattering on ANY figure, machine washable, wrinkle-free, easy to pack and travel with, and made in NYC. Now, that is a winning combination for active living! From walking my dog, Zsa Zsa, to going to a Salvation Army Board meeting, out to dinner, or traveling abroad, I think each design is perfect for my “day and play” lifestyle!

It was a thrill to create my collection with Jude and her dedicated team. I chose the colors and themes, and they presented me with fabulous design motifs representing my signature style. The result embraces classic elegance! From horse bridles to a classic Palm Beach bamboo design, and a timeless pinstripe dress (with my fox & crown logo embroidered on the chest), this capsule collection reflects a charmingly confident, yet fun-loving attitude. I bet that these jubilant statement pieces are the ones you will want to wear over and over again!

Here is my secret for you today! The official launch of our collection will take place on Jude Connally’s website on Tuesday, May 27th. As a darling subscriber, Jude has offered you a sneak peek and a secret link to make a pre-purchase online. She thinks these will sell out quickly… love her confidence!  Here is the link to order before the actual launch date. 

Jude is a savvy and clever businesswoman, and her joyful personality is intoxicatingly fun! We had a ball photographing the collection with Capehart Photography at the new, fabulously chic boutique hotel, The Palm House, in Palm Beach. (Put this on your list to visit!) I am grateful for their gracious offer to use this as our stunning backdrop.

Here is a peek at behind the scenes HERE on Instagram, and three pieces below are from the collection:

Kate

A timeless, equestrian-themed, tunic-style dress which features a flattering V-neckline and 3/4 sleeves. It is the charming blend of elegance and comfort, with a quiet nod to my beloved horses!

Kristen Maxi

A classic tunic dress, sleeveless with a mandarin collar, and an easy fit through the waist and hips- perfect for day or evening in Palm Beach… or any festive venue! 

Finley

A darling pin-striped, knee-length shift dress that features a classic point collar, polished long sleeves, and my discreetly embroidered crown and fox logo. I adore how this flattering silhouette transitions seamlessly anytime of day…and has pockets! 

Let me know what you think… I hope you will have a ball wearing my collection. Please be a dear and share this news with your friends too! 

Xx 

Holly

PS  Thank you again, Palm House for providing the perfect Palm Beach venue to debut the HH Collection!

Tiny Flower Arrangements - Darling and Done!

There is something quite charming about little flower bouquets! With spring upon us in New England, the hopeful anticipation of pretty flowers in the garden comes to mind.  No matter what size your house is, consider making a few petite flower arrangements by using very small and unique vases.  The joy and allure of lilliputian-sized arrangements sprinkled about in your house will bring an unexpected delight when discovered. 

These tiny silver riding boot vases are from England. The flowers were picked from my mother-in-law's bountiful Cape Cod garden.

Simply pluck a few blossoms from your garden or borrow a few from another arrangement, and place them in a diminutive vase to create an instantly charming arrangement… darling and done!  

Be creative and think outside the box for small vessels that you own and can use as miniature vases. A clever way to decorate a serving platter of nibbles is to place a silver baby cup, or a glass (above), or a porcelain egg cup filled with a few flowers.

A silver baby cup makes the sweetest little vase for flowers! Lilacs from the garden adorn my daughter Caroline’s monogrammed baby cup in the living room at Fox Hall. Placing a small, round, silver tray underneath my arrangements serves to enhance the floral appearance. 

Oh!  Remember to anchor your little arrangement on a tray of hors d'oeuvres with a tiny ball of “poster-board clay” so that it will not topple or fall off! 

Mummy’s silver cigarette holder is garnished with a few flowers and appears to be a miniature champagne bucket! 

From platters of delectable nibbles, to bedside tables, coffee tables, and in powder rooms, these are perfect places for cheerful little bouquets.  More examples can be found in my book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, available at Scully & Scully.

XX,

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear…share this with a friend and inspire them to subscribe! 💓

Protocol for place cards!

The top two photos are examples of place card holders I have collected through the years. Below are place setting examples from two dinner parties I have attended. 

We all know how much effort it takes to host a memorable, seated dinner party for our guests!  Seating placement is one aspect of proper entertaining, and it takes time and considerable thought.  A place card (or seating card) tells guests where they will be seated at the table. Guests tend to appreciate place cards because they confirm that the host cares about creating an atmosphere for delightful and engaging conversation between their guests… and, they also eliminate that awkward dance of “where should I sit?” out of the equation!

I received this comment about place cards from a darling subscriber:

“I was recently at a beautiful dinner party where the hostess no doubt had made every effort to prepare her seating plan thoughtfully.  I was aghast to see a couple of guests rearranging the place cards to seat themselves in a different location than where the hostess had planned for them.  REALLY??? Have you ever had this happen?  The hostess was quietly gracious, but I’m sure she was filing this behavior away for future reference… can you spell, faux pas?!!”

Oh, dear! Changing the placement of a place card is a BIG no-no for a guest! I have indeed witnessed this at larger functions, such as weddings. 

As a guest, remember that a dinner invitation is a gift from the host; thus, your seating placement should not be dismissed at your will… accept your placement at the table respectfully. Showing gratitude for being invited and respect for an appointed seat at the table is something to be revered, especially if you wish to be invited back!   

If a place card is not present, the host may direct guests to their seats, or the guests may choose where they wish to be seated. 

Place cards grace our table for all of our dinner parties. For large family gatherings, I invite the children to make the place cards (cut them out, color them, and fill in the names) and arrange them as they wish, as a surprise for everyone, as long as Stuart and I are at either end of the table. This always adds an amusing and unexpected aspect to the event. There is something so sweet about seeing colored construction paper place cards with pinking sheared edges and crayon writing! 

The old-school saying, “Six seats itself,” translates to three couples who can easily seat themselves, with the host and hostess on either end, alternating boy & girl!

Protocol for Place Cards:

Place cards need to be legible! For a formal dinner, black or gold ink is used. For my impromptu dinner parties, I also write with pink ink—go figure!

A title (Ambassador, General, etc.) may be included with the first and last name for a formal dinner. 

For an informal dinner, using just the first name is acceptable. 

A place card may be displayed in a place card holder, which can be placed above the dinner plate and centered or above the forks. 

A folded (tented) place card does not require a holder, but using a place card holder is also acceptable. I use place card holders for both folded and non-folded place cards, because they are pretty! 

A tented card may be larger than a regular place card for business functions. The person's name may be printed on both sides so that others sitting at the table can also see whom they are addressing at the meeting.

The paper color and design are the same for the place card, the menu card, and the table card (indicating the table number for larger functions).

When a guest does not show up at a seated function, especially with more than one table, the host/hostess may request that the serving staff remove the entire place setting and chair, allowing the other guests to scoot closer together without having an empty gap at the table—much more conducive to jovial conversation!

Over the years, collecting assorted themed place card holders has been a delight. They serve to complement various celebrations, seasons, and themes. Anything from darling Herend bunnies to silver Chinese characters, silver watering cans, bouquets of porcelain flowers, or running horses adds a charming, personal detail to a well-appointed table. What are some of your favorite place card holders?

Xx Holly

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Thank you notes: The secret code!

Do you know what it means if you see a line drawn through someone’s name on their personal notecards or stationery? It is a secret code to indicate that you are a friend on a less formal basis and that a title is unnecessary. This applies to any title such as Mr., Mrs., Senator, Dr., Countess… you get the idea. It is an unwritten etiquette rule with a longstanding tradition you may already know about.  I am grateful my parents shared it with me. And, for those unaware of this gracious gesture, now you know! 

A handwritten note is more important than ever, especially with the present-day trend of sending off a quick thank-you via email.  A handwritten acknowledgment for someone’s hospitality, gift, or act of kindness is the pinnacle of graciousness, a quiet beacon of polish, and a proper nod to good manners. 

Have you ever heard the old-school term “bread and butter” note and wondered what it is? My Instagram explains it here. Simply, it is a note of appreciation for someone’s hospitality and should be sent out or delivered “by hand” as soon as possible after leaving someone’s house. A thank-you note is an appreciated gift to your host. 

Interestingly enough, in my lifetime, the people who take the time to write a note tend to be some of the most remarkable, successful people I have ever met. They understand how important it is to recognize someone else’s effort on their behalf.  From respected leaders to grand-dames, volunteers to philanthropists, and even grandchildren, thank-you notes are instinctually cherished by the recipients.

When you are handwriting a thank-you note, be sure to write on the correct sides of your writing paper, in this order:

Occasionally, I will discover a handwritten note from Mummy or Daddy, whether inside a book or a gift they gave me, and I immediately feel their loving presence. Seeing my mother's loopy handwriting or my father’s traditional blue fountain pen ink on a note instantly gives me a wonderful sense of nostalgia and comfort. Has this happened to you, too?

The tradition of writing thank-you notes deserves to be preserved. Each note serves as a tangible reminder of the relationships we cherish and the kindness we receive. Let’s encourage those entering the professional world or graduating to embrace the “secret importance” of handwritten notes to convey gratitude, demonstrating effort and thoughtfulness… it will also set them apart in a crowded landscape!

Xx 

Holly

PS- Please be a dear and send this to someone who may also agree with the importance of a handwritten note! 

A Well-Appointed House Guest Bathroom: The Essential List!

So, you have houseguests coming!  How well-prepared is your Guest Bathroom?  

While you are not trying to be a 5-star hotel, you want your guests to feel comfortable, relaxed, and attended to! 

Assemble a little “guest bathroom basket” under the sink, or place it in a vanity drawer or their bedroom closet. Fill it with items your houseguests may have forgotten or appurtenances they may suddenly discover they need. This extra effort will relieve your houseguests because they do not have to “ask you” for something; it’s all at their fingertips if needed! 

The Houseguest Bathroom Essential List: 

• Linens: Two big fluffy bath towels (or more), two hand towels, and two washcloths per guest (a black make-up hand towel is thoughtful, too)

• A white cotton floor mat near the shower or tub

• A new bar of soap on the sink AND in the shower/tub 

• A bottle of liquid body soap (millennials prefer this over a bar of soap)

• Shampoo (get one for color-treated hair… just saying!)

• Conditioner

• Mouthwash (fill a crystal decanter with mouthwash and place it next to the sink… it will look pretty!)

• Small drinking glass (I prefer a silver mint julep cup, it cannot break!) 

• A hairdryer  

• Hooks on the door or a place to hang damp/wet towels

• A box of tissues 

• Two terry robes: Medium & Large for the Guest Bedroom or Bathroom 

• A magnifying mirror on the wall or on a stand

• A pretty waste bin

• A small vase of cut flowers or a little orchid plant by the sink (a silver baby cup is the perfect size for either)

ADDITIONAL ITEMS- place these under the sink or in a vanity drawer:

• Shower cap

• Hair spray

• Hair mousse

• Body lotion

• Extra rolls of potty paper

• Travel-size toothpaste

• New toothbrush 

• New razor

• Shaving cream

• Make-up remover

• Cotton balls

• Nail file

• Nail polish remover

• Tweezers

• Roll of Tums or antacid

• Advil or Tylenol- small bottle

• Needle and thread kit

• A pair of little scissors

• Lint brush

• Comb

• Small hairbrush

• Q-tips- a small amount

• Spray deodorant

• Feminine products

• Sunscreen (for a resort house)

• Room scent spray

• Nightlight (I keep one plugged in the bathroom outlet)

While this list may seem extensive, you may already have some of these items.  

Grand Millennial Tips:

If you have items collected from a previous hotel stay such as a needle and thread kit, comb, nail file, or shower cap, repurpose them for your guest bathroom… one and done!

I purchase as many items as possible in “travel-size” so that they do not take up much room and can be tossed after a guest has used them.

My daughters in Berlin and Park City thoughtfully provide electric curlers in their guest bathrooms for me so I do not have to pack mine!

Even though you are not running a hotel, your houseguests will appreciate your attentiveness. (Warning: they may choose to stay and never leave… good luck with that!)

Xx
Holly

PS: Please share this with a friend who may appreciate this list for their Guest Bathroom too! 

Ladies, do you tilt your hat to the right or left?!

This hat is a fabulously elegant, pink creation by the world-renowned milliner, Rachel Trevor-Morgan, London.

Kentucky Derby day is near, so let’s chat about hats!

Ladies, did you know that the appropriate side to tilt your hat is to the right side of your face? That’s right! 

Rachel Trevor-Morgan is a clever and, OH, SO talented London milliner with a Royal Warrant, and she has been a lovely sponsor. When I visited her in London at her atelier last year, she confirmed that ladies’ hats are “traditionally” placed or tilted/slanted to the right side of the face of a lady. 

Bows, pins, and other ornamentations are also placed on the right side of a woman’s hat. And for gentlemen? The ornamentation goes on the left side of the hat.

Alternatively, a bow can be “centered” on the front or the back. Miss Zsa Zsa and I enjoyed a drive with Stuart to Newport, Rhode Island. I am wearing the “Holly Holden” bow on my favorite hat from Dress for Cocktails.

Even though milliners are quite creative these days and decorate all aspects of a hat, I thought you may wish to know the proper way to wear and embellish your hats!

GrandMillennial Tips

Ladies: 

After five in the evening, or once the sun sets, a lady does not wear a brimmed hat. The reasoning behind this is that a brim is not needed after sunset.

In Europe (and other countries), respectfully inquire when you are invited to attend a wedding, funeral, or christening if the host recommends wearing a hat. It is customary for ladies to wear elegant hats to these functions.

Gentlemen: 

The rule of thumb for men is to remove your hat when indoors or in the presence of a lady. Hats are off during the National Anthem. 

It was a delight to be with the 8th Earl of Carnarvon again when he visited Connecticut from his ancestral home, Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey), for a Highclere Castle Gin event in honor of the late Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee, hosted by Adam von Gootkin, CEO of Highclere Castle Spirits Company. 

I hope you have a galloping good time at The Derby, or for that matter, anytime you wear a hat!  
Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and share this with a friend who adores hats, too!

Chargers: When NOT to use them!

Silver chargers are often used for formal dinner party celebrations at Fox Hall.

A “charger” is a plate that is more significant in diameter than a dinner plate. It is also referred to as a service plate or an underplate. While chargers are used for decorative purposes these days, they used to be primarily to protect the table from hot plates being placed directly on top of the table’s wood surface. They date back to the 15th century. Chargers vary in size from 11-14" in diameter.  

Food is never served on the charger itself. Instead, the dinner plate is placed on top of the charger. Additional courses may also be served on the charger.  

Do you know when NOT to use a charger?  The dessert course! A charger is permanently removed before the dessert course is served.

Chargers have become a popular decoration for dinner tables in recent decades. They are made of various materials and have endless color options. The most traditional style of charger is made of porcelain or silver. For formal dinner parties, I prefer silver because it complements the other silver accouterments on my table (candlesticks, wine coasters, flatware, serving pieces) and adds a hint of glamour to enhance the notable occasion.

Chargers are often used to decorate the table for visual interest and are then removed, as is frequently done in private clubs or restaurants. 

At the Palm Beach Yacht Club, a handsome cobalt blue and gold charger featuring the Club insignia greets guests at the table.  When a cocktail is ordered, it is served on top of the charger. The charger is then removed before the guest's first course is served.  

Chargers are rarely used in a proper English country house. My dear friend, the Executive Director of The English Manner, William Hanson (with his brilliant British sense of humor) summarizes the use of chargers: “They serve no practical use as you do not eat off one and are, frankly, a waste of money!"

Pictured at a White House dinner, a handsome gold-enhanced charger, created in honor of President Dwight Eisenhower, adds to the formality of the table.

Grandmillennial Tips:

Another way to repurpose a charger/service plate is to place it underneath a flower arrangement. It collects the fallen pollen and enhances, reflects, and frames the arrangement!

Pretty porcelain chargers may also be used as unique artwork by creating a design on a wall using plate hangers.

Consider using a charger to serve hors d'oeuvres. They are the perfect size for small gatherings.

The silver charger adds a glimmer of glamour to your flower arrangement! 

Xx

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and pass this along to a friend to inspire them to subscribe!

A gift that you give to yourself when you entertain at home!

On a warm summer's evening, dining on our veranda at Fox Hall (c.1803) is simply magical! 

Stuart and I adore entertaining, and our goal has always been to have a jolly time while catching up with our darling friends. We share stories and laugh the night away over dinner. “Friends are a gift you give yourself!” 

I truly savor the preparation before a dinner party, from arranging the flowers, deciding the menu and setting the table, to cooking the dinner. While as time-consuming as it is to cook, it is my way of showing my love to our precious friends and family; I am grateful to be able to do this. That being said, Stuart also contributes by placing the appropriate glasses on the table and being in charge of the wine and libations for the event. He excels at showing “his love” with this task!

True confession: serving and cleaning up is something that I do not enjoy… who does? So, when we host an intimate party of six or more, Stuart and I have agreed that our evening is more enjoyable when we have help to serve and clean up. This was a decision we made the moment we knew we could afford it. This is “the gift we give to ourselves” so that we can be in the moment, and give our full attention to our dinner guests. Then we can relax and enjoy the evening. 

For Alexandra’s 40th birthday dinner party, she invited her dear friends from her Miss Porter's School days. Sweet photographs taken from when the girls were students were arranged on the sideboard. I placed a wine decanter, filled with pink flowers at each place setting as a gift for them to take home. I still consider these girls as my “other” daughters! 

A seasoned piece of advice, which I have learned through experience, is this: if you are hiring a new server for the first time, take a moment to discuss what you expect of them and how you wish them to serve.  Showing an example before the party is a prudent exercise. Then, you both have an understanding and know exactly what is expected. 

Here is my  “short list” of what I discuss with a new server or staff after showing them around the kitchen.  

COCKTAIL HOUR:

Always offer a linen cocktail napkin when passing hors d’oeuvres in case someone has put their cocktail napkin down and needs another one.

Pass one-bite hors d’oeuvres to ladies first, then gentlemen. For any remaining, I instruct the server to leave the serving plate on the coffee table or a side table. This gives me the opportunity to pick it up at any time and pass the plate myself, allowing me to move around to chat with my guests. 

DINNER:

Discuss the time table for cocktail hour and when dinner will be served. 

Decide if the first course will already be placed on the table or served once the guests are seated. 

Indicate where the guests of honor are seated because they are served first. And remember that the ladies are served first, then the gentlemen.  

Indicate where a guest is seated that has an allergy or does not drink. 

Plates and other serving dishes are served on the left side of the guests. In America, the rule of thumb is to "serve on the left." 

Plates are cleared from the table on the right side of the guests. I just remember the two R's: “Remove on the Right!" 

Plates are never stacked! They are removed two at a time from the table (and quietly placed in the kitchen). The woman guest of honor first, then the other ladies, and then the hostess. The gentleman guest of honor’s plate is then removed, followed by the other gentlemen, with the host being last. 

Glasses are refilled on the right because their placement on the table is on the right.

(On a side note, in England, in private houses, plates are served and cleared only on the left side of the guest.)

DESSERT:

If a dessert fork and spoon are placed at the top of the place setting, it is proper to have the server slide down the spoon to the right and the fork to the left of the guest (to the same position where the other flatware was previously placed). Decide if you want the server to do this or if you will let your guests attend to this proper dessert nuance. 

Discuss if a port or a cordial is being served.

Discuss if coffee will be offered, and if yes, when and where it will be served… in the dining room or the living room?

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To stack plates when clearing the table. Plates should never be stacked or scraped clean anywhere near the dining table.

What is done: Plates are cleared from the table, two at a time, three at most. They are cleaned in the kitchen and preferably not within earshot of the guests.  

No-No: To leave any remaining plates, serving dishes and salt and pepper on the table when dessert is served.

What is done: When all of the courses have been served, the remaining plates, salt and pepper, serving pieces, chargers, and flatware (other than the dessert flatware) are then cleared from the table before the dessert is served.  

The decanters/wine bottles and glasses can remain on the table until the dinner is over and guests move to another room.

Then, the gift to yourself is that you can go happily to bed knowing the dishes are clean, put away, and the trash is out. Sweet dreams are assured! 

Xx

Holly 

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Holly's "Secret" Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

For those occasions when impromptu guests arrive, or you spontaneously invite friends over for lunch or dinner and need a quick dessert, I have the perfect recipe! It is one that both men and women savor, and you will most likely have all the ingredients on hand. So, what is my tried-and-true “SECRET” pie recipe? A Lemon Chess Pie! You can whip it up easily, especially if you have a pre-made pie crust, along with two lemons. You will likely already have the other ingredients in your kitchen: butter, eggs, and sugar.

The Lemon Chess Pie has a long heritage in England. It is similar to the English curd pie, dating back to the 1600s. It was adopted here, in New England and Virginia.  A version of the recipe was even in Martha Washington’s cookbook.  As a young bride in Richmond, I was given the recipe by a bridesmaid who copied it from her old Virginia family’s recipe repertoire. I have made it ever since and added my “secret” touch: the grated lemon rind!  

Why is it called “chess?” One reference is that, before refrigerators, it was stored in a pie “chest”… which sounds like “chess.” Another theory is that long ago, when a lady was asked what kind of pie she made, she responded: “it’s jes’ pie,” with a southern accent, and “jes” sounds like chess.  Whatever the derivation, it is “jes’ yummy!”   

Holly’s “Secret” Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees

You will need:

- 1 pie shell, unbaked 

(NOTE: I use Pillsbury pie crusts. Two are rolled up in a red box and can be found in the refrigerated (not frozen) section of the grocery store.)

- 3 eggs

- 1 stick of butter (I use salted butter)

- 1 ½ cups sugar (use superfine sugar if you have it!) 

- 2 lemons (the juice and, my secret: the finely grated rind from both lemons)

Cream together the butter and sugar.

Add the eggs, one at a time, and mix well.

Add the lemon juice and grated rind to the above.

Pour into the unbaked pie shell.

Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 35 minutes. 

It will be lightly browned. You want it firm enough to barely wiggle in the center when shaken. Serve warm or cold! 

A few more secrets:

~I like to press fork tines along the edge of the store-bought pie crust, creating that “homemade” look.

~This pie may be made a few days ahead and stored in the refrigerator. 

~If you have time and the ingredients, add a dollop of whipped cream, mint leaves, and a few raspberries for color. 

~It is rich with flavor (because of the butter and the lemon rind), so you can make the slices even smaller if necessary to serve more people. 

I hope y’all enjoy serving this pie as much as I have through the years! Shhh, now remember it’s a secret recipe!

And, take a peek at my Instagram secret “lemon squeezer” HERE. It works like a charm! I adore using it every day for lemon in my tea and for lemon water… and especially for this pie recipe!

 XX

Holly

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Addendum to SLL “Graduation Gifts”:

Dear Holly, 

Due to the high cost of college these days, we’ve done something a bit different with our nephews/godchildren. When they are born, we buy them bonds and add to them every year. When they graduate high school, we give them half to help defer costs. When they graduate college, they get the other half. This helps them have a nest egg that they can either keep or spend to help get them started. Ironically, our nephews seem to prefer to keep the bonds as a start to their financial well being. Smart kids. Of course, I would want the Launer handbag.

Nikki

Graduation: The difference between an "Invitation" and an "Announcement"

Graduation time is drawing near! Here are a few gifts that I have found that  young lady graduates appreciate receiving:

For a college graduate, an elegant black handbag for upcoming job interviews. 

Both college and high school graduates will cherish a lovely piece of jewelry, an engraved picture frame to hold a sweet memory, or a porcelain Herend box to place by their bedside for earrings, or to use as a pretty decorative piece. 

It is always a delight to read your questions and  recently, I was asked about the difference between a graduation invitation versus a graduation announcement.

A graduation invitation is requesting your attendance at the actual ceremony, and a graduation announcement is acknowledging an academic accomplishment. 

A Graduation Invitation: 

A graduation invitation is requesting your physical attendance at the graduation commencement. It is typically mailed six weeks prior to the graduation date, and a save-the-date card can be sent up to three months ahead. This advance notice is helpful for out-of-town guests to make their travel arrangements. 

Do not take offense if you did not receive an invitation! Due to the constraint of limited school seating, invitations are mainly intended for immediate family and close relatives.

Respond to a graduation invitation as soon as possible because tickets are limited, and if you cannot attend, the graduate can then invite another close family member.   

A graduation invitation is similar in format to a wedding invitation. If the school provides the graduate with an invitation and two envelopes, write the name and address on the outer envelope, and try not to use any abbreviations. Instead, spell out Street, Avenue, and the state- Connecticut.  Slip the invitation into the inner envelope and only write the guest’s name on the front. For example: Mr. and Mrs. R. Stuart Holden, Jr. or, for a relative, simply, Uncle Herb. Use black ink… or blue ink is acceptable too. 

A Graduation Announcement:

Since an announcement is not an invitation to attend the commencement, the announcement is sent after the actual graduation ceremony has taken place! Announcements can be mailed the day after, or up to two weeks after the ceremony.  A graduation announcement does not include an invitation to a party because the party will have already taken place after the ceremony. 

Graduation Party:

If you are hosting a graduation party, then you may invite whomever you wish! Party invitations should be mailed separately, and not inserted into the graduation invitation. It is a thoughtful idea to give a “start and end time” so that the graduate and their friends can also plan to attend other parties. 

Graduation Gifts:

If you receive a graduation announcement, you are not obligated to send a gift. Of course, the graduate would appreciate your kind acknowledgment with either a congratulatory note or better yet, a gift!  

If you receive an invitation to the graduation ceremony, a gift is expected. Either send a gift and request that it be delivered near or on the graduation date, or give your gift to the graduate on the day of the commencement. 

It can be helpful to ask the parents of the graduate advice on what to give or what they need. I like to order a gift that can be engraved with either their name, their school, and/or a date. 

Lovely writing paper or note cards with the graduate’s name is thoughtful and can be used for thank you notes. A Mont Blanc or Cross fountain pen or a rollerball pen with black ink is another idea. Sending flowers to the graduate on the day of the graduation is also thoughtful. A check or gift certificate is appropriate too.  

For gentlemen graduates, a handsome picture frame engraved with their initials or school, a pair of engraved cufflinks, or a leather credit card holder or a business card holder are all worthy gift contenders! A tie with the school colors or emblem is nice, too. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To send an announcement to anyone who has never met the graduate.

What is done:  The announcement should be sent to people the graduate actually knows, not just their parents friends, or their Christmas card list.  Rule of thumb: whomever receives an announcement should be able to recognize the graduate and vice versa!

No-no: To have a gift registry included on the invitation.

What is done: The guest will inquire to the graduate or their parents if they have a registry or a particular store they adore. 

No-no: For the graduate to only talk to their friends at their graduation party. 

What is done: The graduate should make an effort to talk to all of the guests attending their ceremony and party. 

No-no: To send an “email” thank you note for graduation gifts.  

What is done: A hand-written thank-you note is required for any graduation gift received, preferably within 48 hours, but up to two weeks, after receiving the gift.

 XX

Holly

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Lipstick Lessons for Ladies!

Picture this: You’re out to dinner, enjoying a divine meal with others, and suddenly, you realize your lipstick has disappeared faster than you expected. Fear not! Here’s how to properly reapply lipstick color to your lips, without becoming a circus act- especially when surrounded by fellow diners. Discretion rules! A lady should try not to draw attention to herself while performing this delicate task.

The old-school, Southern way I was privy to as a young adult is still applicable: lipstick is applied to the bottom lip only, quickly and discreetly, when in the company of others. Then, the two lips are rubbed together to get the lipstick color on the top lip. One and done!

Here’s how to master the art of discreet lipstick application:

1. Location, Location, Location! Place your lipstick in your evening bag or pocketbook so that it can be easily accessible. Ensure it is at the top. This way, you can simply reach in and grab it. Like braille, you’ll be able to remove it without looking into your bag!

2. The Sneaky Swipe! While everyone else is deep in conversation, use this moment to twirl up the lipstick without anyone seeing you; this is a covert operation- do it under the table! Apply the lipstick to your bottom lip swiftly and rub your lips together. Voilà! As a lipstick ninja, no one will even notice because you will execute this with quiet grace. 

Of course, the gold standard is to excuse yourself to the powder room for a proper application. But if you wish to stay at the table, the above method is appropriate. If you use a wand-type lipstick or require a mirror, it is best to go to the ladies' powder room to avoid calling attention to yourself.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: Leaving a ring of lipstick marks around the rim of a glass or tea/coffee cup.

What is done: Keep your lipstick mark in the same position to avoid creating a ring of shame around the rim.

No-no: Applying ANY kind of make-up at the dinner table or in the company of others. 

What is done: Politely excuse yourself to the powder room for a touch-up.

No-no: Leaving lipstick marks on a linen napkin at someone’s home. 

What to do: Blot your lips with a tissue in the powder room before dinner so that you do not make your host cringe when they see lipstick marks on their linens after you have departed. 

No-no: Touching your hair at the dinner table. 

What to do: Excuse yourself and go to the powder room for a quick comb or hair rearrangement. Sometimes, it’s just a nervous habit- so learn to refrain.

Left to right :

Clinique - Confetti Pop 38

Yves St Laurent- Rouge Pur 49 (can’t find it anymore!)

MAC- Candy Yum Yum 601 matt

Take a peek HERE at my lipstick Instagram video. Trust me, if you like vibrant pink, your lips will thank you!

 XX

Holly

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Grosgrain Ribbon: A Timeless Trim!

A simple and quietly understated 1” wide Grosgrain ribbon embellishes a dust ruffle in Palm Beach. 

What decorative trim is timeless, tailored, and not expensive? Grosgrain ribbon! It can enhance curtains, valances, upholstery, pillows, and dust ruffles. It can also adorn clothes, hair bows, hats, shoes, and ponytails.  Now, that’s a notable roster for a simple ribbon trim, wouldn’t you agree? 

Grosgrain (pronounced GROW-grain) is a versatile ribbon with a distinctive ribbed appearance that runs across it and enhances its durability. Because its textured parallel ridges have a matte finish, Grosgrain is not flashy or shiny and is more durable than satin or silk ribbons. 

Grosgrain, in the 17th century, referred to a black and durable garment fabric. In the 1920s, Grosgrain “ribbon” was introduced, and now, many colors and printed designs are available. Grosgrain ribbon has a “distinguished appearance,” which is why it continues to embellish evening wear, such as the bow on a gentleman’s formal black evening pumps.

Consider applying a 1” to 2” wide Grosgrain ribbon along the leading edge and across the bottom hemline of your curtain panels.  Choose a complementary color to the fabric design or room scheme, or choose a neutral color, like white.   

These curtain pull panels have a 1 ½” white Grosgrain ribbon applied one inch off of the leading edge of both panels.  

I specify a Grosgrain ribbon trim to be sewn about ½” to 1 ½” off the leading edges of a curtain panel. How you place it depends on the fabric's pattern, the room's height, the curtains' width, and the design scheme's formality. Two or more ribbons can be sewn as a trim on curtains, either next to one another in the same color or alternating colors, adding even more interest. Be clever and think outside of the box when designing with Grosgrain ribbon!  

I have used Samuel & Sons' Grosgrain ribbon for years for my clients' projects. Grosgrain ribbon, like the 2” width roll displayed here, can also be easily obtained online. 

I hope you will be inspired to use Grosgrain ribbon as a trim embellishment on your next design project!

Xx

Holly

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My Secret Kitchen Color Scheme!

This little nook adjoining the kitchen at Fox Hall is always filled and overflowing with family during the holidays!  I commissioned the artist to paint our son, Stuart III, with his dog Higgins. I asked the artist to make his sweater a soft blue, knowing it would always work well with our kitchen's blue-and-white color scheme.

What is my “secret” color combination for a charming, timeless, and tailored kitchen?  It’s a “blue-and-white” color scheme!  Why? It is TIMELESS!  This traditional color combination has been around for centuries, so maybe it does not qualify as “my secret,” but more of my “tried and true'' color combination for a kitchen… and other rooms, too, for that matter!

Mummy convinced me to consider a blue-and-white color scheme for my first “big-girl” house, in the kitchen.  This was sage advice for me as a young bride of 21.  She drew from her well-earned experience and encountered several rawwther unique interiors whilst moving our family over 33 times internationally. 

A blue-and-white scheme also works well with yellows, greens, reds, and even pink accents.  Our kitchen in Palm Beach, Fox Worth, has blue foo dogs and dragons as a design on the pink background wallpaper. Do you spy a pink refrigerator?! Couldn’t resist. 

 To me, the blue-and-white theme utilized in kitchens adds an air of contentment and joy, similar to a bright blue sky adorned with enchanting, puffy white clouds… a joyful, welcomed sight! Even the blue-and-white images of kitchens I share on my Instagram garner more views than any other color scheme. 

A blue-and-white kitchen will stand the test of time! 

Photo Credit: Scheffer Interiors via Instagram 

There is a universal appeal and charm of a blue-and-white color palette. It remains an enduring color combination because of its long history and staying power.  It originated on pottery in China in the Tang dynasty 618-906.  In the Yuan dynasty of 1279-1368, the cobalt blue used on pottery and porcelains became even more vibrant.  Blue-and-white porcelains arrived in Europe in the 16th century.  In the 1850s, the British were simply charmed by the appeal of a blue-and-white scheme, which became quite fashionable. (And, of course, it brightened their dark Victorian interiors!)  Impressionist artists such as Auguste Renoir sprinkled blue-and-white porcelains into their works of art.  The universal appeal and charm of blue-and-white in rooms or on porcelains continues. It is a traditional, not trendy, choice.

Please pass this advice along to a young bride, a first-home owner, or someone designing a resort house.  From my experience, it will always serve them well!

Xx

Holly