Source: Town & Country Magazine
How charming it was to receive such lovely remarks from many of you about the no-no’s to know as a wedding guest. Here are a few more that I thought you may want to add to the list!
No-No: To not promptly reply to the wedding reception invitation.
What is done: Responses to any invitation should ultimately be made within 48 hours of receiving it. Mail your reply card as soon as possible!
Numerous Mothers-of-the-Brides have shared with me how disconcerting it is to have to reach out two weeks in advance of the wedding to guests (who should know better), to find out if they will be attending the reception.
No-No: To ask to bring a guest (someone other than who is indicated on the invitation envelope) to the reception with you.
What is done: Honor and respect who is indicated on the envelope of an invitation. If your children were not mentioned, then they are not invited.
No-No: To change your place card seating at the table.
What is done: No matter how tempting it is to change your seating to be close to friends or whomever, you have specifically been placed where you are for a reason! So, honor the seating arrangement (for any party) and stay in your assigned seat. Once the meal is over, you can excuse yourself to the dance floor, and mingle with others.
Feel the joy! Our daughter, Alexandra, entered the Berlin Dom with her father who walked her down the cathedral aisle.
In closing, here are a few customs worthy of your consideration as a wedding guest:
To stand or not to stand: A dear subscriber offered a very thoughtful and valid point about the custom of standing for the bride, which is a lovely show of respect and admiration as she enters the church aisle. This custom continues to be prevalent, especially in the South, and is worthy of your attention
“Unlike the immediate, respectful standing for the entering family of the deceased at a funeral, I was taught at a wedding to keep my eye on the mother-of-the-bride. If and when she stands, the guests are to stand. But if she stays seated and turns slightly in her seat to view her husband escorting her daughter down the aisle, guests are to do the same.”
Clapping: Have you noticed that it has now become customary for the guests in a church to clap when the officiant pronounces the married couple as “man and wife?” Old-school, traditional protocol does not condone clapping in a church, at a religious service, because it is not a performance or entertainment. But, if the guests are partaking in enthusiastic clapping for the couple, then it becomes your personal choice whether to clap or not! It’s easy to feel like a stick in the mud for not clapping. Even though I endorse the respectful tradition of not clapping in church, I definitely delight in displaying a very happy smile during such a joyous, celebratory moment!
XX,
Holly