A card that is not store-bought is the most sincere way to offer your condolences, especially if you can't be there in person. There is no need to buy a sympathy card, ever. Mummy always said that your words are a thousand times more meaningful than what is printed on a card. So, write with all of your heart, on white stationery with a black ink pen.
If you have a white or ecru fold over, informal card with your name in black engraving (photo above), then you have the most appropriate old-school stationery to use. And, if you do not, another suitable option is a plain piece of white paper or a note card, preferably a nice stock such as Crane & Co. Stationery. Take a moment to think about the person you are remembering and then write your loving words of sympathy. A fountain pen with black ink is always the most proper and traditional choice. A ballpoint pen would be your last choice.
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Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no: Never mention anything negative about the deceased person in your note. Only mention lovely memories and offer your sympathy.
No-no: Never slip your folded card into the envelope with the folded edge side down. The folded edge of a card should be at the top of the envelope so that the recipient stands much less chance of a paper cut if the sharp edges are at the bottom!
Millennial Tip
When your formal name (photograph above) includes a title (such as Mrs., Mr., Lady, Countess or Doctor) that is engraved or printed onto your stationery, you may draw a line through your name if you are writing to a dear friend. This is especially appropriate on a sympathy note. The line you draw through your name discreetly indicates that you are writing to them on a personal level, as a friend and without formality. This is appropriate for any type of stationery that you have, and for any occasion, including a gift card enclosure. You do not draw a line through a monogram or if your name does not include a title before it.