Meeting The Hereditary Prince and Princess Berhard of Baden and Mrs. Barbara de Portago, President of The Versailles Foundation, Inc. Gala Dinner in April 2015.
“How do you do?” These four words are AS GOOD AS GOLD! They are tantamount to a 'secret code' when combined with a strong handshake, excellent eye contact, and a sincere smile. This simple combination of the four words and the ceremonial handshake quietly relay that you respect and have mastered traditional manners.
It is also very considerate to say your name after the four words. For example: "How do you do? Holly Holden.” The reason you say your name is to give the other person the opportunity to hear it once more, as you repeat it after the introduction is made. How many times have you been introduced and haven't quite…caught the name? Oh dear, I know, it has happened to me too!
"How do you do?" is the most traditional greeting you can say. Pleasure to meet you, nice to meet you, pleased to meet you, or even “charmed,” do not hold a candle to "How do you do?.” Do you really know if you are pleased to meet someone on the very first encounter, or do you wish to get to know them first? This is the reasoning behind the traditional four-word introduction greeting. And yes, you can say how pleased you are to meet someone, but after the initial, "How do you do?" greeting.
What is a traditional response to someone's initial "How do you do?” This is SO easy to remember. Simply say "How do you do?" back to them! And then, you may carry on with your polite conversation.
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Forbidden Faux Pas
No-No: To interpret a "How do you do?" as a "How are you?" inquiry. "How do you do?" is not a question about your health, but simply a greeting! After the "How do you do's" are exchanged, you may ask, "How are you?"....very well, thank you!
No-No: Not to acknowledge someone with sincerity when being introduced to them. I have seen this done before and am saddened at how hurtful this can be for the other person being slighted.
Millennial Tip
Manners are learned behavior. One of the best gifts you can bestow upon your children is to teach them how and what to do when being introduced. And, start young! Have your children practice with friends and family when they come to visit. I will never forget when my team and I were photographing the former Prime Minister of Canada's house for an upcoming Palm Beach book, his precious grandchildren were visiting. When they were presented to us, we were duly impressed with their finesse at such a young age... strong handshake, eye contact and a polite "How do you do?” No wonder two of the Mulroney grandchildren were chosen as page boys and were honored to ride with Meghan Markle, now Duchess of Sussex, on the way to her wedding at Windsor Castle. They even carried her train down the aisle of St. George's Chapel!