As a student attending St. Catherine's Episcopal girl's school, I vividly remember when a teacher entered the classroom, we were required to stand up immediately. And, the consequence if we didn’t? A demerit was issued for either study hall or to stay after school. Oh, we indeed stood up! Here I am attending our… shhh, 50th reunion!
After a long “non-social-interaction” hiatus during COVID, I think the “when to stand up” topic is worth revisiting! A darling subscriber reminded me about this simple courtesy, which sadly seems to be disappearing these days.
“I would love to see you discuss how a young person should stand up when an adult enters the room. My children were always embarrassed and said, ‘Mom, none of my friends stand up.’ I replied, 'It is the polite thing to do!' It seems that even with our grandchildren, it is not done much anymore.”
I agree wholeheartedly and am an enthusiastic advocate of this polite gesture. So, let’s discuss a few more standing-up scenarios:
Who stands for whom when a person enters a room?
~Ladies and children stand when an older person enters a room.
~Gentlemen stand when a lady enters a room.
~A gentleman also stands for another gentleman when greeting him.
Standing up is a distinguished gesture and was ingrained in me by my parents. And yes, to this day, I continue to stand up for a man or woman who is older than I am! This simple, polite courtesy never goes out of style.
Also, who stands up if a visitor comes to say hello at your dinner table at a restaurant or club?
A gentleman should always stand for a man or woman who stops by a table to say hello.
Should ladies stand when a lady or gentleman visits your table?
It is not required for a lady to stand if seated at the table. But, as a thoughtful gesture, I always stand for someone older than me and also for a friend who is dear to me.
When visitors come to your table and an introduction is being made, does a seated lady stand to shake hands?
I think it is appropriate to always stand to shake someone’s hand (man or woman) when being introduced. It is not required for a lady to stand up when being introduced, but I cannot comfortably remain seated if I am meeting someone. I think it is more appropriate to stand and shake someone’s hand. What are your thoughts?!
GrandMillennial Tips:
At a restaurant or club, if you stop to say hello to someone at their table, politely acknowledge the gentlemen who stand up with a “Please sit down!” (Most gentlemen will still not sit down until the lady visitor has left.)
And with that in mind, if you are the visitor coming to someone’s table, don't be an overstayer! Say hello, introduce yourself, and then… skedaddle! No one wants their food to get cold while you chat away (unless you're “genuinely” invited to sit down and join them).
Have children and grandchildren? Maybe practice rewarding those who hop up for guests that visit either your home or at a restaurant dinner table with candy or a hot fudge sundae!
Xx Holly
PS: Please be a dear and inspire one friend to subscribe. I received some splendid remarks from my last newsletter- they are found in the addendum below my darling sponsors! Take a peek!
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