How elated I was to attend my “big number” reunion at St. Catherine’s School, an Episcopal girl’s private school in Richmond, Virginia, which started in 1890… and no, I’m not THAT old!
How grateful I am to my parents for the opportunity to attend a school that embraces gracious traditions and gave me lifelong friends and comradery. Seeing my dear classmates felt as if no time had passed!
At the reunion, many commented about my newsletter and how they share it with their children and grandchildren… the ultimate compliment! My darling classmate, Caroline, suggested the topic of “common courtesies” as a refresher to adults and as a reminder to our children. In particular, the polite courtesy of how to go in and out of doorways!
“All doors open to courtesy.” – Thomas Fuller
Proper protocol suggests that the person coming out of the door has the right of way, and the person outside of the door, politely waits to the side, and if possible, offers to hold the door open while the other person departs the building.
A gracious welcome commences at the front door! My husband cleverly plants seasonal flowers in the urns by the front door at Fox Hall.
While in Williamsburg, Virginia, I walked to The Cheese Shop for their yummy Virginia peanuts. A 10-year-old boy came out of the door, saw me waiting outside, and let the door slam shut in front of me. I surmise that he didn't know better. Not a big deal, but then again it is, because unless you teach your children common courtesies, they will never know. Like all manners, they are taught. Manners are not innate behaviors. (Parents, don’t you wish they were?!)
“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”- C. Thomas
And, elevator doors? How many times have you had to say, “excuse me” to people eager to board the elevator but block the door outside as you attempt to exit the elevator? Those waiting for the elevator should kindly stand to the side, not in front of it. This is an important courtesy to teach children. And subway doors, well, good luck with that… that is a whole other dilemma!
When you push or pull a door open, look behind you to see if someone else is coming, and hold it open for them.
Even at The Farmington Polo Club, the person leading a horse out of the barn, has the right of way. If there is a horse and rider outside, they move aside until the horse and rider walk out of the barn.
Grandmillennial Tips:
Speaking of doors, when a polite gentleman, who may be ahead of you, stops to hold a door open for you upon entering a building, make a point of thanking him, while also encouraging him to go in front of you if there is a queue, i.e., the post office. In essence, he was there before you, yet kindly stopped to open the door for you. Why should he have to wait behind you to be served, when he was there first? This is a new “common courtesy” for ladies to extend to gentlemen, especially in this age of equality. Many men hesitate to open a door for a lady these days for fear they will hear unpleasantries from the lady that she is capable of doing it herself! I find the act of opening a door for a lady to be exceptionally thoughtful and am flattered by this courteous and polite gesture.
When you see a Mum with a baby stroller, dash to open the door for her! As a mother and grandmum, I can relate to the struggle of trying to open a door whilst pushing a stroller through.
“Be an opener of doors.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
XX,
Holly
P.S.
HOW TO REMOVE LIPSTICK STAINS FROM NAPKINS:
A subscriber inquired how to take lipstick stains off of linen napkins. Laura, another dear subscriber, referred to her involvement at Hearst Castle, CA. “Once a year, the Collections Department (fancy term for cleaning & care of everything!) at Hearst Castle had the linen closets emptied, washed and ironed. Some of the cocktail napkins had smears of lipstick.” Her lipstick removal recommendation: “Dawn liquid detergent, which was also used on the "massive" Persian Rugs. If Dawn doesn't remove the stain, Mrs. Stewart's (not Martha) will work too.”