Kay Thompson’s “Eloise,” first printed in the 1950’s, has always been one of our most favorite children books! The precious illustrations of precarious Eloise are by Hilary Knight. Some of Eloise’s antics, while living at The Plaza Hotel in NYC, are an accurate, yet slightly exaggerated, glimmer into what small children are truly capable of! Photo credit: Eloise - Written by Kay Thompson.
If you have young children, you have probably experienced those rawwther stressful moments when they simply “forget their manners'' and you wish you had a magic wand to make them “snap-to polite attention!” You know that they know how to behave. You just want to scream, “YOU KNOW BETTER,” along with an explicative... or two! The addition of sweets (chocolate Easter eggs and jellybeans) can exacerbate their misbehavior too. UGH… one feels embarrassed and frustrated as a parent.
We all know what mischief children can get into.
Manners begin at home, with role models such as parents, grandparents, and caretakers. Mastering anything always requires practice. My dear friend Gaye shared a splendid method for instilling manners in children. Tuesday night at her house was “manners night” at the dinner table, which didn’t mean a free-for-all on other nights. It simply meant that on Tuesdays there were no distractions, no television, and no phones. Etiquette and the art of conversation were explored. Even a five-year-old can relay their productive day at kindergarten. The Tuesday night practice technique worked like a charm, as their adult daughter is enchanting! As a child, she thought “manners night” was a bore, but admitted that she now looks back on Tuesday dinners as a special time, invaluable to her.
My daughter and her husband in Berlin, Germany, have four little children. When they travel to someone’s house, they make a point of talking to their children in the car about the manners that are expected upon arrival; they do not assume that the children will remember them. Reminding them in advance to put their “best manners hat” on, such as shaking hands, good eye contact, using inside voices, not interrupting when others are speaking, placing napkins on their laps, sitting up straight, no elbows on the table, avoiding complaints about the food, responding when spoken to, and showing respect to both the house and the adults, are precisely the manners that make a difference. Manners do not come naturally; they require constant practice. By teaching them manners, you are giving your children a proper gift which will serve them well... FOR LIFE!
From the text of the book, as stated by the six-year-old, Eloise:
"Nanny has Irish bacon which reminds her of her brother.
You have to eat oatmeal or you'll dry up
Anybody knows that
Nanny likes her coffee hot hot hot
An egg cup makes a very good hat."
Here are a few pieces of advice from parents and doting grandparents whom I admire:
“Always, always have a little something in your purse to entertain your children, from a pen and paper to a tiny little toy. When silence is required in a church or a plane, some lollipops or a little bag of gummy bears are perfect!”
“Always a please and thank you… no popsicle gets handed over without it!”
“When visiting someone’s house, bring your cache of toys or puzzles, or something to amuse your children. Don’t assume that the house that you are visiting will have toys or something for your children to play with. Come prepared.”
“Discourage your child from interrupting, yet when they do have a question, try to make the effort to answer them.”
“I never really put anything delicate, breakable or valuable "away" when mine were little… nor did my mother. I was taught to "not touch" things.”
“Ask your hostess if they have a towel or something to cover their dining room chair seat in case your child accidentally spills food on their upholstery. I have never known a hostess to refuse this request!”
I am curious to know, what suggestions do you have?
Grandmillennial Tip:
A sweet book to give to a new mother is Manners Begin at Breakfast, by Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece. It is about proper etiquette for children in our fast-paced, technology-centered world. The book contains many amazing tips and pearls of wisdom to pass onto little ones as they grow up to become responsible and respectful members of society.
Consider inspiring one or two friends to subscribe to MMM today! You may also join me on Instagram for daily inspiration.