When "No Gifts" is indicated on an invitation, you most certainly do not need to bring a gift. I just cannot resist not bringing a little something, though!
Mummy shared with me that if a friend dropped off some home-baked cookies or a vase of flowers from their garden, that I was to return the empty container to them cleaner than when I received it... along with a little something inside as a gift back to them. For example, I've sent back a few homemade cookies, a jar of yummy jam, some chocolates, a couple of sprigs of rosemary from the garden to fill a vase, or simply a slice of birthday cake. It is the thought that counts. If it is homemade, even better!
The reason why I shared the "return-practice" above is that it is also how I deal with an invitation that states "No Gifts." I, personally, cannot go to a party empty-handed! Giving a gift gives me so much joy! Perhaps it’s the Southerner in me, but no gifts feels just like returning a plate without a little something inside.
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I believe that when "No Gifts" is on an invitation, the hosts want to make their guests feel at ease and not obligated to bring a gift, which is genuinely thoughtful. I believe it is just as thoughtful, however, to humbly and politely exceed expectations as a guest.
It does not have to be much. Depending on the celebratory occasion I’ve brought bottles of champagne, flowering plants, cut flowers from my garden, my homemade spiced pecans, or museum notecards from an overseas trip, all of which have been well-received, even when there is "No Gifts" indicated on the invitation. If it happens to be a more substantial celebration, then I may give a more significant gift, such as a silver frame engraved with the date or their initials.
Forbidden Faux Pas
To make a big show of bringing a gift when "No Gifts" is specified on the invitation.
If you choose to ignore the “No Gifts” indication and bring a gift, then it is imperative that you are exceptionally discreet about doing so. The key is to be subtle when arriving with a gift in your hand. Place your gift quietly off to the side somewhere without bringing any attention to your gesture. You do not want to make others feel uncomfortable that they did not bring a gift. Better yet, have it mailed directly to the house before or after the party!